


Namaste

by Champagne_Vagabond



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Masturbation, Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, Useless Lesbians, Yaz is a Yoga Teacher, Yoga!AU, the AU no one asked for but you are getting, useless gay vs. esteemed gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:15:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25614955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Champagne_Vagabond/pseuds/Champagne_Vagabond
Summary: Teaching Yoga gave Yaz what she needed. It was a place to breathe, a way to calm her anxiety, and it provided a sense of peace in a chaotic world.That was until a new student showed up.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 103
Kudos: 152





	1. Part One - Blind

_This is the first day of my life,_

_Swear I was born right in the doorway._

_I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed,_

_They're spreading blankets on the beach._

_Yours was the first face that I saw,_

_I think I was blind before I met you._

_\- First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes_

Yaz parked her bike outside the building.This one of those hours out of a small handful that she looked forward to. A place where she could centre herself and try and share that same feeling of peace among others. She walked inside and hung up her coat before peeking inside the room to ensure the class before her was all finished. She walked into the yoga studio and was greeted by her fellow teacher and friend, Rose.

“Hiya, how are you doing?” Rose said, giving her a hug, students now milling about as they wiped down mats and put on their shoes. She’d met Rose whilst working at another studio a couple of years ago and they kept in touch, she had a few more years of teaching under her belt so she was always Yaz’s go-to when it came to advice on teaching.

“I’m good thanks, you?” Yaz asked as Rose multi-tasked her attention from Yaz and on the odd goodbye to some students.

“Yeah, good thanks, how’s the beginner’s class going for you?” The beginner’s class was what Yaz was here for. Rose had mentioned there was a spot to teach at Pure Energy as their normal beginner’s teacher was on maternity leave.

It’d been a couple of weeks in now and Yaz couldn’t be more grateful for the class. It was a simple and calming way to round off a Friday afternoon, some of the students were still a little nervous as they were still finding their feet with their practice, but they couldn’t be more welcoming of Yaz.

“Yeah, it’s been great, such a good group and I like getting to meet all the new faces,” Yaz said as she watched Rose nodding whilst she shoved her shoes on.

“I’m glad you are enjoying it,” Rose said, putting on her coat. “Well I better get off, John’s insisting on cooking more so I am curious to see what he came up with.”

“Probably two cooked carrots and a bit of feta knowing John,” Yaz said and Rose laughed in agreement. Yaz had met Rose’s husband a handful of times and he seemed like the ying to Rose’s yang, his slightly hyper behaviour was equally balanced by her relaxed persona.

“You should have seen it last night, pasta with baked beans in it. Claimed it was Moroccan. And for dessert we had leftover Easter egg that had been sitting in the fridge for two weeks.”

“Sounds delicious,” Yaz mocked. 

“Don’t worry, next time you come over, I’ll be the one on the food.”

“That’s a relief. I’ll see you for tea on Thursday?” 

“ ‘Course, have a good class,” Rose tossed her bag over her shoulder.

Yaz said bye to Rose and started to set up for her class. The studio had high quality mats that were left if there was another class for that day, all students had to do was wipe them down. She walked to the front of the class and laid down her own mat and plugged in her phone to the speakers.

“Alright, cockle?” A voice asked behind her and she already knew who it was. She turned around to see her favourite student smiling at her. She knew she shouldn’t really have favourites, but Graham was just too lovely to not have a bit of a soft spot for. He’d been in remission for a few years now and his Doctor had recommended yoga as a way for him to get some light exercise after his retirement.

“Hi Graham, how are you doing?”

“Very well thanks, I spoke to my grandson about giving it a go. I told him this class would be great for his leg injury, but I think his dyspraxia puts him off things that require coordination,” Graham said.

“Well you can tell him this is a safe space; we don’t discriminate against disabilities. I hope he changes his mind, sounds like a good guy.”

“He has a good heart, bless him.”

Yaz peered over Graham’s shoulder to see more of her students starting to file in. Graham gave her a polite smile before going over to his usual mat.

The room was purpose-built for yoga. The mats were of the highest quality and were sprayed down by students between each class, which was easier than getting students to buy their own and bring them in. 

Ceiling to floor mirrors covered the back wall where Yaz faced towards her students. The mirrors continued all along the left hand side. The wall furthest from Yaz had windows out to the street and were usually always covered by blinds, especially during practice. The right hand side had a giant mandala painted in silver on the wall with space for blankets, blocks, cushions and straps. Next to Yaz there was a speaker which Yaz often used to play calming music, she spent a large chunk of her time outside of class looking for the perfect songs. A small diffuser was next to the speaker, which gently emitted a fresh lavender scent.

It was the ideal studio, and Yaz felt at home the moment she saw the place.

As her students got prepared, Yaz scrolled through her register on her phone to see if there were any new names. New Energy had a non-committal pay-per-class model, meaning anyone could drop in or drop out if they felt like it wasn’t for them. She had her usual handful of regulars, but she always checked to see if there was a new face.

Usual crowd today. That made things easier for Yaz, she knew the skill levels of each person and could plan around that.

She sat down on her mat facing the nine familiar faces who were looking back at her.

“Hi guys, I hope you are doing well, this week we are going to be focusing on our breathing techniques and how important this is to our practice.”

From there, Yaz instructed them through a variety of poses, ensuring that they were all breathing from their core. Every week she would guide the students through five minutes of meditation to round off their practice.

For the meditation, the students would move into shavasana, a position where the person lies on their back with their eyes closed in complete stillness.

Yaz played some gentle music as she quietly walked around the room, talking about the lessons they can take from their practice. Yoga was a place where she and her students could put the breaks on everything life was throwing at them. A place where they could re-engage with the present, no worrying about what happened yesterday, or what could happen tomorrow. They were all here at this moment. Focusing on their breath. A reminder that they were all alive, living in the present.

For Yaz, yoga was fundamental to her routine. Every session left her with a sense of refreshment, like she was more aligned with the pace of the world. 

Once the class was over, Yaz walked to the other side of the room and rolled up the blinds on the windows to let in some natural light.

“See you next week, cockle!” Graham called over and Yaz waved at him.

“Hiya, Yaz, can I speak to you for a second?”

Yaz looked round to see Clara standing there. She had been taking this class well before Yaz had taken over, and Yaz quietly hoped that Clara sticking around meant that she was doing a good job as a replacement.

“I was just wondering; do you think you can show me some exercises for a bad shoulder blade? Maybe as part of next week’s class?”

“Sure thing, can I ask, do you work at a desk?”

“Yeah, doesn’t do it much good I know.”

“I would always recommend getting up and walking around for half an hour or so, no matter how busy you are. Your back will thank you for it,” Yaz said as she walked over to her mat. Clara nodded and they said their goodbyes.

Yaz looked down at her phone to see she had a text from Bill.

_Pub tonight for a quick one? X_

Yaz replied,

_Sure thing, 7.30? X_

Bill texted her back as she was heading out of the door.

_See you then! x_

///

Yaz walked into the pub and immediately saw Bill at the bar, she smiled at her friend who smiled back at her.

“Double gin and tonic and what are you having?” Bill asked her.

“I’ll have a single gin and tonic,” Yaz said.

“Oh come on, it’s Friday. Live a little.”

Yaz sighed.

“Go on then,” Yaz relented.

“Two doubles please mate.”

Bill was the type of friend who always managed to pull Yaz out of her comfort zone, even if it was only a step or two. Bill handed her drink and chinked her glass against hers.

“How’s that new class?”

“Yeah, all good, the regulars are really coming along. Graham is doing so much better and he might be able to bring his grandson...” Yaz petered out when she saw Bill giving her a look. 

“I’m fine, just wondering something.”

“What?”

“When are you gonna get your hot-piece-of-yoga-toned-ass out there? I know you love that grandad but he’s not the one for you. ” Yaz should have seen that coming. Ever since they met back at Uni, Bill was the one trying to get her out on the dating scene. Bill had been out since she was in school. For Yaz, it wasn’t until 3am sat on a curb outside a pub, with enough cider to fill a bucket running through her veins that she could quietly admit to Bill that she might be gay too.

It took her the whole three years of Uni to work through it, and by graduation she was out to herself. It was only in the last year she came out to her family and the rest of the world, and it was taking some adjusting to. No longer was she fumbling around with boys or perpetually panicked about what it all meant, she knew what it meant, she was a lesbian. Admitting it was one step, but opening that door had been equally as overwhelming.

“I dunno, maybe never? I think I am destined to be perpetually alone,” Yaz said, looking down at her drink.

“You didn’t even give it a proper chance!”

“Woah, woah. I went on two dates. The first was a girl who’s girlfriend had dumped her, and she spent the whole night crying. The second was with said girlfriend and once she realised I knew her ex she tried it on to get back at her, I mean the whole thing was an unequivocal nightmare. The lesbian dating pool is too small in Sheffield, it’s not even a pool, it’s a pond— no it’s a puddle.” Once Yaz finished speaking she realised how much of a rant her defence had tuned into.

“I promise you it’s an ocean. You just need to put yourself out there a bit more,” Bill said, before taking a swig of her drink.

“If I had any time,” Yaz retorted. Teaching yoga was the passion job, but it was only paying half the bills. The other half was working in a traditional sweet shop. She wasn’t even a big fan of sugary things, but it was simple enough, the only downside was the kids who would dip their snotty hands into the pick n’ mix.

“You have time in the evenings!” Bill said. “Look, I know this girl, she is really sweet. Let me set you up.”

“No, please—”

“Listen, listen to me. When was the last time you had sex?”

Yaz thought about her question for a second. She had had the odd fumble out of curiosity at University, but she wasn’t out to herself at the point. Now, she could admit that she liked women, but she was still daunted when push came to shove. The last girl must have been about six months ago with a girl called Orla who she’d met in a gay bar Bill had taken her out to. She remembered apologising a lot, her lack of experience came out as anxiety which led to an overall awkward encounter.

“I’m going to take your lack of answer as an “I don’t remember.””

“Remember that Irish girl, Orla? When we went out that one time?”

“Yaz! That was like ten months ago!”

“I thought it were six.”

“Girl come on. I think you could be good for you,” Bill said, putting her hand on Yaz’s.

“Fine. But you are not setting me up, no offence, but I’m not interested in your sloppy seconds.”

“I’ll take that. But I swear there is more out there, soon you’ll be diving in the ocean, I promise.”

Yaz’s expression turned to one of doubt. But she had to admit that it had been a while, the idea of dating still scared her. It was a world of possibility, which meant it was totally out of her control. That’s what she liked about yoga, it helped find some stability in a chaotic world. It was easier to just throw herself into her work. But sometimes, she didn’t like being so alone.

After a few more gin and tonics than Yaz was planning on having she ordered an Uber back to her flat.

Once she got in the door she was greeted by her cat who walked in between her legs. Mango, who was three years old now, had been the only one Yaz ever came home to. It was only now Bill had put it into perspective that this might not be the healthiest dominant relationship in her life. Maybe she was turning into a spinster, but a spinster to her implied that she had much of a sex life to start with. She took for her coat and boots and collapsed on the sofa with a sigh.

She reached her phone out of the front pocket of her jeans. Her finger hovered over the dating app which, if it were a physical object, would be gathering dust right now. 

She opened the app and scrolled through a few photos. She didn’t know if it was the gin that had hit her, but she was swiping yes to more women than she ever used to. Maybe it was more the dull ache that came with loneliness, was now more of an open wound.

///

The following week passed by as normal. She’d had a few conversations with a couple of girls on the app, one girl even proposed they meet, but Yaz wasn’t sure. Still, it gave her something to do on the quieter days in the sweet shop.

Friday rolled around and it was time for her beginner’s class. She made niceties with Rose before scrolling through the register. There was a new name.

_Jo Smith_

Yaz was happy to have a new student on board, now all she needed to do was introduce herself to this new person.

“Hiya, Yaz!” Graham said, his consistently chipper tone always soothed Yaz a little.

“Hello,” She said, unpacking her mat at the front of the class.

“You haven’t got another crow pose in store for us today, have ya cockle?” Graham asked.

“No crow poses for today, but a good few downward dogs that’s for sure.” Yaz turned to look at Graham. 

“You’re breaking my heart, Yaz, you really are.” Graham puts his hand over his chest in mock defeat.

Just then, Yaz caught a flash of blonde out of the corner of her eye. Yaz peered around Graham to see a slender, rather beautiful, woman enter her classroom. _This must be the new student_ , she thought to herself. She was wearing a simple light blue crew neck T-Shirt that clung to her in all the right places and some black sweatpants. The front of her short hair was tied back away from her face. Her face was gentle and inviting, albeit with slightly bewildered expression.

“Sorry, excuse me.” She passed Graham and walked over to the woman.

“Hello,” Yaz said, the woman looked slightly lost.

“Oh, hiya!” She said suddenly snapping out of her lost expression before shaking Yaz’s hand with confidence.

“Are you Jo? I saw a new name on my register,” Yaz explained.

“That’s me, sorry, scatterbrain, yes I am Jo,” She said.

“Well, I’m Yasmin, but everyone here just calls me Yaz. It’s nice to meet you,” Yaz saw her eyes darting around the studio. “I’m filling in while the permanent teacher is on maternity leave,” Yaz said, and Jo nodded.

“Errr I’m seeing a lot of bare feet in here. Should I take my shoes off? And where do I put them?” Jo asked.

“There is a little cupboard just behind you there,” Yaz pointed. Jo rushed over and pulled her trainers off. “There are some coat hangers as well,” Yaz said.

“Socks or is barefoot the rule?”

“It’s up to you,” Yaz said.

“Sorry, I’m a bit nervous, I have never done anything like this before.”

“You’re totally fine. You can sit on any mat in the room and once you’re settled I’ll come over,” Yaz spoke as gently as possible in an attempt to calm Jo’s nerves.

Yaz followed her over to the mat she had chosen. Jo followed suit and sat down, Yaz knelt beside her.

“So this is a safe space for people who are completely new to yoga so there is nothing to worry about, do you have any injuries at all or any areas you’d like to work on?” Yaz spoke with her teacher hat on, she had plenty of experience with new students, so it came easily to her. But what she didn’t expect was how transfixed she would be when looking at the hazel-green colour of her eyes.

“No injuries to speak of, someone recommended that this might be good for my brain. It’s essentially a ping-pong table ya see. And I don’t know how to put the ball down, hopefully this’ll help, but I don’t really know. I hope so. I tend to ramble a bit too, am I doing that now?” Jo said, looking up at Yaz for reassurance.

“You’re fine,” Yaz reiterated, finding herself slightly endeared by the way she spoke. “Lots of people have never tried this before, but we all have to start somewhere right? I’ll go slow and explain every step, okay?” Yaz asked.

“Sounds great Yaz, I mean you’re right, gotta start somewhere, eh?”

Yaz smiled, her energy was indeed practically bubbling off her. It was a far cry from the all the stillness that surrounded her day-to-day life. And it was refreshing. Like opening the window on a cold day, and Yaz hadn’t realized how much she wanted that quick jolt of something new.

“Of course, let me know if you have any questions after the practice, okay?” It was an offer Yaz would have made to any other new student, but there was a droplet of hope mixed in, just for the opportunity to speak to her again.

“Welcome everyone, so today we are going to start with some guided meditation to begin our practice. So I’d like you all to sit cross legged and close your eyes.” The class did as they were instructed, and Yaz’s eyes were immediately pulled back to the far-left corner of the room where Jo was.

“Now as we discuss every week, if you for any reason do not want to be touched in this session, please raise your hand.” This was standard practice for Yaz, and the closed eyes helped protect everyone’s anonymity. But her eyes were still on Jo, and a flicker of joy alight inside of her when she registered her stillness. The moment the spark came, Yaz instantly worked to suppress it. It was unprofessional, perverted even.

She refocused herself back onto the class and guided them through meditation. Yaz planned the first part of the session two be four guided sun salutations. As the class came up into downward facing dog, she looked over at Jo and saw that she was way off, more in a weirdly shaped high plank.

Professional her would go over and help correct it so she won her small mental battle. She walked up to Jo whilst guiding the rest of the students through their breathing. She came up to her mat and knelt beside her.

“I’m just going to adjust you if that’s okay,” Yaz said.

“Yeah, anytime now would be good though,” Jo said, her breathing stifled. Yaz smiled.

“You’ll get used to it I promise. Remember your breathing.” Downward dog was a hard posture to maintain. Especially for new students, and especially if they did what Jo did and put all their weight in their arms.

Yaz moved her hands under her hips and gently raised her. Yaz could feel the defined bones under her cotton shirt. Her mind lingered like a moth to a flame as she watched Jo’s elegant frame take the guidance from her hands. Once she realized where her mind had gone, she ran right back to where she was. Jo’s arms straightened out as she formed a much cleaner triangle shape.

“Ah, yeah, that feels a lot better, thanks,” Jo said. Yaz noted her breathing was still holding her back from fully relaxing into the posture, but that was something they could work on. If Jo came back that was.

Yaz went back to instructing the whole class, moving back towards the front of the room. Throughout the rest of the practice, she kept her eye on Jo. She couldn’t touch her toes and she lost her balance a lot during the tree pose. None of this was a bad thing, but she needed some coaching. Yaz was fighting her happiness again that told her how she’d be the one to teach her for the coming weeks.

At the end of the class, Yaz did her usual routine of walking around the class and as they laid still and listened to the music.

Yaz always gave a small head massage to those who were comfortable being touched. But her attraction to Jo led her to pause. Her feet at the top of head. Could she? Jo would be able to sense her presence by now, it’d be weirder not to do anything at this point.

Yaz crouched down and placed her hands around her head. Her hair was like silk under her fingers. She pressed the pads of her thumbs into her forehead and moved her fingers and thumbs in a round motion as she watched the rise and fall of her breath. Yaz saw a smile forming on her lips, Jo’s breathing became deeper as Yaz massaged her temples. Yaz stole herself a few more moments than what was necessary.

She wrapped up the class and everyone started to pack up their things. Yaz kept one corner of her eye free for Jo as she wrapped up her mat and grabbed her phone.

“Hey!”

Yaz looked up to see Clara standing over her.

“Hey, how are you?” Yaz asked, wishing she cared more than she did. She stood up to see Jo over Clara’s shoulder, already scurrying to put her shoes and coat on.

“My back is a lot better, thanks to your advice.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Yaz eyes darted to Clara to acknowledge her and then back to Jo. She looked over and gave Yaz a polite if half-hearted smile. Yaz feared this may be the first and last time they ever met. “Clara, would you excuse me for just one second?” She said, not waiting for an answer.

She joined Jo at the back of the room.

“How did you find your first class?”

“Err I dunno. I mean you’re great don’t get me wrong, I’m just not sure I cut out for it. I can’t even touch my toes.”

“Yoga isn’t a competition, you are here, which means you are cut out. Trust me. We were all beginners at one point or another.”

“I can’t imagine you never being able to touch your toes,” Jo remarked.

“Well, I did a lot of gymnastics at school so I had a head start.”

“Now that is cheating.”

“I promise you it’ll get easier the more you learn to control your breathing.”

“Yeah I never realised how hard breathing were, I’m usually alright at that as things go.”

“Wait ‘till you’re on my level, I’m so good at breathing I can do it in my sleep,” Yaz couldn’t stop herself at least trying a little joke. It was met with a wide smile. 

“A true expert,” Jo commented, volleying back her sarcasm. 

“You’ll get better with time. You just need to be patient,” Yaz tried to reassure her. 

“Patience isn’t something I have a lot of either,” Jo shrugged.

“Practice then,” Yaz said before realising that she’d never tried this hard to retain a student. There wasn’t any financial gain, she just couldn’t resist that need to see her again. “Look if it’s not for you that’s fine, but you will feel a benefit if you give it time. I hope I see you again next week,” Yaz said.

“Thanks Yaz, and thanks for the little head rubs, that really calmed me down,” Yaz wanted to correct her, tell her that everyone got the same, but she wanted Jo to feel important. Besides, she was thanking her so she must have enjoyed her touch.

Yaz smiled as her eyes eventually drifted away from Jo’s and she turned away to fetch her bag.

When she got outside she took a deep breath of the cool air as she walked outside to her bike. It was raining lightly, but Yaz appreciated the small splashes of water against her skin. The whole experience had left her in a quiet state of shock.

Her utter captivation for this woman was unexpected but a welcome invigoration. Usually Yaz could see a woman and find her attractive, but it’d never happened in her classroom, and certainly not to a degree where she had to drag her eyes away.

///

From the moment she walked away from her to the moment she got in the door of her apartment, Yaz thought of nothing else. It wasn’t until her sister called that she had a momentary break.

“Hey! You never guess what!” Sonya’s excitement was palpable.

“What?” Yaz asked.

“He asked me out!”

“Who?” Yaz never understood why her little sister thought she’d be able to keep up with her love-life.

“The mechanic? Ryan? He texted me back about an hour ago!”

Yaz smiled to herself as she grabbed the saucepan out of the cupboard. She did remember hearing the name Ryan, something about the inflection in Sonya’s voice made her feel like this one might be significant.

“That’s lovely, what are you gonna do?”

“Maybe cinema?”

“Eh, I mean you can’t really talk and get to know each other, what about dinner?”

“Yeah, you have a point, I’ll ask him in a bit. So, what’s going on in your love life?”

Yaz sighed, she knew she meant well, but she was a bit fed up with having to talk about it.

“Nothing’s changed since you last asked,” Yaz said.

“Boo, it’s getting awkward at family dinners when I’m sitting there with a new one and you’re alone, again.”

“Oh behave, Son. It's not my fault you go through men like a packet of Haribo.”

“Oi!”

Yaz smiled, the intent was never to truly harm, just to playfully shove.

“Y’know there’s someone out there for you, right?” Sonya said, her softer side coming through.

Yaz didn’t want to think of Jo. But she did. She radiated in her mind as Yaz went over her mental catalogue of all her elegant features, skin like porcelain, hair like velvet, eyes like precious stones. The energy she gave was practically fizzing off her, it wasn’t necessarily a personality built for yoga, but it struck Yaz in a way she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt before.

She took a long exhale, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of white wine.

“Yeah, I hope so.” She grabbed a glass and poured herself a generous serving.

Their conversation moved back onto Sonya’s date. After the call Yaz drank her wine on the sofa and deliberated getting takeout. As she scrolled through the options she got another message from the girl who asked to meet.

_Sorry if I was a little hasty, we can take things slow 😊 how was your beginner’s class?_

Yaz read over the message a few times. She didn’t know what the best reply was, she wanted to try dating again, but it felt insincere. Jo had kicked her stability out from underneath her, and It wasn’t like Yaz to lose her balance.

///

The next week Yaz worked hard to try and be rational about Jo. She might show up, she might not. And either way, Yaz still needed to be a teacher. In other words, she needed to get a grip.

She didn’t even know her. She could be horrible, even though Yaz doubted that. But even if her personality was as lovely as her appearance, odds were she was straight, and probably already off the market as well. 

Part of her almost hoped that she wouldn’t show up again just so she’d have a chance of focusing all her attention on the job at hand. But the former option of seeing her smile again gave her a small dose of adrenaline.

Yaz said hello to Graham and Clara and the three of them engaged in some small talk. Yaz kept glancing back at the door with bated breath, despite her very rational arguments to leave it be.

“How’s the back?” Yaz asked Clara, trying to distract herself.

“Yeah, much better. I think doing my own practice at home really has helped as well.” 

Yaz nodded. 

“Sorry, am I late? I had to go back for my water bottle,” Jo strode into the conversation like a wrecking ball. Yaz had been trying so hard to not look at the door she was taken aback for a second. Graham and Clara both moved a step back to accommodate her entrance. Yaz’s heart swelled with excitement.

“No, you’re all good. We should be ready to start in about five minutes.”

“Time keeping is another thing I’m not great at, but I’m here, so I guess you convinced me,” She said, still catching her breath. “But don’t expect miracles.” 

“I’m just glad you’re here.” Yaz didn’t think before the words were out of her mouth. Was that too much? Jo’s smile widened and Yaz’s panic left her as quickly as it had arrived.

The practice went smoothly, Jo’s downward dog had vastly improved from the first time round. The only posture Yaz caught her struggling again on was tree pose. It required patience, balance and stillness which was hard to master as a beginner. But Yaz gave her credit for her persistence to try again every time she fell out of the posture.

Yaz went through her routine of meditation and head massages, feeling in equal parts excitement and shame when she came to dip her fingertips in Jo’s hair. It was still as soft as she remembered, if not more so. Yaz studied her features. Her dark, precise eyebrows, her rose-coloured cheeks, her glossy, inviting lips.

She even caught a glance at her left hand. No ring of any sort. _Well, that is something_ , Yaz thought, and then she immediately dismissed her own impulsive hopes.

Yaz walked back to the front of the class to wrap everyone up for the session.

“As you all know you can follow me on instagram @yaztheyogi and always feel free to message me about bookings for private sessions as well.” It’d been a while since she’d plugged her Instagram and given the offer of private classes so it felt appropriate. She wrapped up the class and rolled up her mat. A pair of stripey trainers she’d clocked from last week were coming into her field of view.

This time Jo came up to her. Yaz smiled to herself.

“Great class today, Yaz! My shoulder’s been playing up this week and I can already feel the relief, it’s amazin’ this, you must feel so relaxed all the time if this is what you get up to all day.”

 _I’m more relaxed when I’m not in the same room as you_ , Yaz thought.

“Wish I could say so but I only teach part-time,” Yaz said. “I try and get in as much practice as possible, but you know what life is like.”

“I do, I am always chasing down time,” Jo said looking down at her watch. “Speaking of, better dash, see you next week Yaz,” She said smiling before darting out of the door. 

Next week.

The happiness was like a drug in the way it coursed through her veins. It then dawned on her that she was going to have to deal with this hopeless attraction every week. Was it a dream or a nightmare? Yaz reckoned it was a bit of both.

///

As soon as she left the studio she texted Bill asking to meet her for a drink in town, and they agreed on their favourite cocktail bar. It was a bit of a splurge but Yaz was in need of a treat.

“Hey,” Bill greeted Yaz who was already sitting at a table near the bar. 

“Hey,” Yaz said, looking up from the cocktail menu. 

“Fancy two for one?” Bill said, putting her coat on the back of her stool. Yaz nodded.

“Long Island Iced Tea?” Yaz suggested.

“Sure, I’ll get ‘em in, you can get the next round.” With that, Bill went off to the bar and returned about ten minutes later with two cocktails in her hands.

“Rough week?” Bill asked.

“What makes you say that?” Yaz asked before taking a sip.

“Not like you to order the most alcoholic thing on the menu. And it’s only just gone six,” Bill said, sitting back down. 

Yaz took a deep sigh. She needed to talk to someone but she worried Bill was going to make a big deal out of something that wasn’t even there. She was just a woman in her class. A woman she couldn’t stop thinking about.

“Yeah,” She said, trying to think of more to say than that.

“Wanna give me a bit more to work with?”

“There’s this woman,” Yaz stops as she notices Bill’s eyes already widening. 

“Who are you and what have you done with Yasmin Khan?” 

Yaz rolled her eyes and took a long sip of her drink. 

“Yaz?” A female voice coming from behind her causes her to turn round. She is surprised to see Rose and John standing there.

“Hey!” Yaz said turning so she could hug them both. “This is my friend Bill, Bill this is Rose and John, Rose works at Pure Energy as well.” 

“Hiya,” Bill waved. 

Rose pointed at the cocktails. “Big night?” She asked.

“Oh well Yaz has had a rough week apparently,” Bill said as she leaned over.

“Oh?” John prompted and Yaz could already feel the situation slipping out of her control.

“Yaz fancies someone! And pigs can fly as well now, apparently,” Bill jibed. Yaz shot her a look but it didn’t take the smirk off her face.

“Is she fit?” Rose asked.

“More to the point, is she gay?” Bill asked.

Yaz groaned and put her hands on her face, trying to hide herself from this conversation which was now turning into a grand inquisition. She moved her hands away but kept her eyes closed and two fingers pinched on the ridge of her nose as she tried to think of an answer. Once it was out there, there was no turning back. It would no longer be just a thought, or an ocean of thoughts, but real-world information.

“Yaz, come on. Don’t keep us hanging,” Bill said, putting her straw between her lips.

“Oohhh I know what’s happening here,” Rose said and Yaz opened her eyes to look at her. “It’s a student isn’t it?” Yaz took her hands away from her face, defeated.

“Oh my god, is it?” Bill questioned.

Yaz looked at her but said nothing, her silence confirming her question.

“Yaz, you dog,” Bill said, her smirk never leaving her face. Yaz wanted to curl up and die, when she looked at Rose she wanted to apologise, she was the one who secured her this job and having a crush on a student felt like a step over a professional line.

“Don’t worry about it,” Rose said, trying to soothe the worry from Yaz’s expression. “It’s actually how we met,” She said looking at John.

“Really?” Yaz asked.

“Really, you were such a good student, very flexible,” She said to John, stroking his shoulder. 

“Too bad my mind wasn’t in it,” He said. “I’ve got one of those brains that is just all over the place, so I ended up being a bit too hyper for yoga.”

“Sounds like her,” Yaz said.

“And you were too distracted by me,” Rose said.

“That too,” John said and they smiled at each other. Yaz took a sip of her drink.

“Well I totally get the distraction thing,” Yaz said. “I always catch her out of the corner of my eye, even if I’m trying not to.” Yaz wondered to herself if she should be admitting that to her colleague.

“Girl, you got it bad,” Bill said and Yaz looked back at her for a brief moment. 

“I say, find out if she’s single, find out if she’s gay and then go for it. Yeah it’s not conventional practice but we are all grown-ups here,” Rose said.

“I dunno…” Yaz took another large sip of her drink.

“Yaz I’ve literally never heard you talk about a girl like this before, you gotta go for it,” Bill said.

“Agreed,” Rose said.

“Alright, alright, I’ll...think about it.” Yaz chose her words carefully. She still barely knew her, but she couldn’t lie to herself, she was enamoured with what she had seen so far and was keen to look even further. She could at least try to get to know her a little better and figure it out from there.

Rose and John left and Yaz stared down at the ice at the bottom of her empty glass. One moment she was in control of her situation, her job, her friends, her whole life. She’d built a bubble and she’d found peace of mind within the chaos. Now, she was struggling to remember what it felt like to think of anything else. 

  
  



	2. Part Two - Foolish

_So crazy, my baby, I'm not myself_

_Baby, I'm foolish, I don't do this_

_I've been playing myself_

_Baby, I don't care_

_\- Crazy in Love (Cover) - Eden Project_

  
  
  


Friday rolled around once again and Yaz was in the studio setting up for the class ahead. Jo entered the room and Yaz immediately clocked the shiny piece of foil in her hand. She walked over to her, determined to get answers.

“Is that a capri-sun?” Yaz asked, and Jo went wide-eyed.

“Is that not allowed?” Jo asked.

“No, it’s fine it’s just... I haven’t seen a capri-sun since I were in year six,” Yaz said.

“Hey don’t diss, this is my lifeblood today.”

“I’m not dissing, but isn’t it just pure sugar?”

“Yup, beautiful, delicious sugar. Sorry Yaz, you might be able to work on my hyperactivity, but you’ll never cure my sugar addiction.” She raised the orange straw between her teeth and took a sip.

“You’d love where I work, then.”

“And where is that?”

“Sweet Treat? It’s a sweet shop on North Street.”

“No way! I walked past there all the time, I’ve been meaning to go in there! I’ve just been so busy opening the shop.”

“You have a shop?”

“Yeah, I just bought it. Me and my brother did it up. It’s called A Crack In Space and Time, all antique stuff and books as well. It’s up on Weston Street.”

“Oh yeah that is close. Well feel free to drop round and stock up. Best selection of sweets this side of Sheffield.”

“Well now I know you’re there I’ll have to stop by.”

Yaz could swear she felt her heart flutter.

“Sure I can provide a mate’s rate,” Yaz quipped.

Jo’s smile warmed her spirit. The moment was over once Clara had walked up to them.

“How’s the back?” Yaz asked.

“So much better, you really are a star.”

“I just gave you the tools,” Yaz said before checking her watch. She walked back to her place at the front of the class, she could hear Clara behind her introducing herself to Jo. It shouldn’t have annoyed her as much as it did, but something Jo had said caused Clara to giggle and she felt a drop of envy in her stomach.

The practice passed through as normal, Yaz thought she’d best give Jo a break from tree pose and focused more on the warrior poses which were simple yet effective. Yaz still had one last move in store for them, which she was already certain wouldn’t put her in anyone’s good books.

“And when you’ve taken those breaths just gently come up to a seated position.” Yaz waited until everyone was seated. “Now for our final effort today we are going to stretch out our legs nice and long, and on the inhale raise those legs towards the sky, you’re going to tip back a little and that's okay, we are making a long V shape. And with our arms we are going to hold them out straight in front of us,” Yaz took another pause to make sure everyone was up to speed. 

“This is called boat pose and it is great for strengthening our core, and I’m going to count to twenty for this pose, if you need to come out that’s fine too.” 

Yaz started counting down from twenty, giving little words of encouragement in between numbers. Graham had turned as red as a tomato but he didn’t give up which she was impressed by.

“Nearly there, exhale three...two...one.” Everyone collapsed at one. There was a little laughter amongst the students as they finally released their tension. “Well done guys, I know that was a difficult posture, you all did great. Now lie down for shavasana and we will meditate together to end our practice this week.” 

Yaz came round to Jo and placed her hands around her head, the pads of her thumbs working out the tension in her forehead. This had become a routine by now, Yaz would get excited to touch her, then relish in the feel of her hair and skin against her hands, then feel a stab of shame about it. It was all going as normal until Jo’s next exhale where she let out a small hum of enjoyment. 

Yaz was initially surprised, her fingers stopping for a split second. She smiled to herself as she carried on, testing to see if she could pull out any more sounds but none came. Yaz finished up the class and saw Jo scurrying to put her shoes and coat on as fast as possible. She wondered if she was embarrassed, if she was, Yaz wished she could tell her it was a sound that she was going to replay in her head for a long while yet. 

///

It had been a slow day in the shop. Grace, her boss and the owner had gone out for the day so Yaz was covering from open to close. There were always a few kids after school but their three minute whirlwind had been and gone and Yaz was left alone behind the counter with nothing but a book to keep her company. 

Yaz wasn’t particularly worried about the shop being quiet. Grace had a great business model and made most of the profit from selling cakes made out of sweets for birthdays and events. They also had a mailbox subscription service where people could get a pick n mix through their letterbox which was also a good source of income.

The shop itself was well decorated with light pink walls and exposed wooden floorboards. The jars of sweets had little chalkboard labels and lined the shop from head to toe. Out of all the places she could choose to spend her time making up the rest of the rent, she was really glad to be spending it here. Grace was a wonderfully kind woman and the work was simple, and on days like this she was happy to be left in peace, escaping in the pages of her book.

She was knocked out of her story when she heard the bell on the door. She looked up to see Jo standing there.

“Hey,” Jo said, closing the door behind her.

“Hi.” _Guess it wasn’t going to be a peaceful afternoon after all_ , Yaz thought. Despite the interruption to her day, Yaz was delighted to see her. She annoyingly looked even more gorgeous outside of her usual work out gear. Her hair was fully down, she was wearing brown ankle boots with tight blue skinny jeans with a navy blue T shirt with stripes across it that was loosely tucked in. Casual, with an air of effortlessness. 

“Thought I’d come stop by, say hello, maybe pick something up...or a lot of things. If that’s okay.” Jo eyes darted around all the jars, her hands stuffed in the front pockets of her jeans. 

“Oh well as you can see I’m completely swept off my feet, it’s complete chaos,” Yaz said sarcastically, gesturing at the empty shop. 

Jo smiled and looked around the shop, turning on the heels of her boots to look around all the shelves.

“Anything you’d recommend?” 

“Depends what you are into,” Yaz said, standing from her chair and walking around the counter.

“I’m not fussy, not a big fan of sour things but that’s about it, oh and nothing pear flavoured.” 

“Then I’d recommend the giant strawbs,” Yaz said. She grabbed the stool and stood on it to reach up to one of the jars on the top shelf. 

“I’m surprised you work here, if I’m honest. You don’t seem like the sweet-tooth kinda gal.”

Yaz handed the jar to Jo. “Pop this on the counter.” Yaz stepped down off the stool. “And you would be right, but the work is easy and I can carry on with other things if we are quiet.”

“I dunno what I’d do if I had a shop like this, let’s be real, I’d have no stock left to sell,” Jo said, setting the jar down.

“Doesn’t sound like a great business model,” Yaz said as she made her way back around the counter.

“So how does it work? Can I just take the whole jar?” 

“It’s £1 per hundred grams, so in theory you could, but it might cost you a few quid.” 

“Hmmm, maybe there are some other jars that are calling out to me.” Jo walked over to the other wall of sweets and Yaz returned to her counter where she picked up a pink and white striped bag which she placed on the scale.

“Hundred grams of each?” Yaz asked as Jo returned with another jar filled with blue raspberry bonbons.

“Sounds good.”

“Be careful with these ones, you could lose a tooth if you’re not careful,” Yaz said using a small metal scoop to dig out some of the bonbons.

“It’s worth the risk,” Jo said once again returning to the shelves. She bent over and seemed to Yaz to be scanning them row by row, Yaz stole the briefest of glances at her bum before returning to shovelling sweets from the jar into the paper bag. It wasn’t the first time she’d admired her from this angle but she didn’t feel so bad about it outside of the studio.

“Have you got any of those, oh what are they called? They are like little round things that taste like apples?”

“Rosy apples?”

“Yeah! Those are the ones,” Jo looked back at her.

“Don’t have ‘em at the moment unfortunately, but I can order some in for ya,” Yaz suggested. She’d never actually ordered stock before, that was Grace’s remit. But she was sure she would say yes if she asked her. 

“You sure?” Jo asked, returning with another jar filled with chocolate mini eggs. 

“It’s no trouble.” 

“All the more reason for me to keep coming in here, then.” 

Yaz smiled to herself, butterflies manifesting in her stomach.

“I think I’ll just go with those three for now, but you have a fine selection here.”

“We do, Grace also makes cakes out of sweets for birthdays and stuff.”

“Shame by birthday just came and went.”

“There’s always next year.”

Yaz saw Jo’s eyes glance down to her book. “Gone Girl, nice.”

“Usually it’s my course material for this teaching training course I’ve got coming up. But ya know, just fancied looking at something else for a change.” 

“Good choice, I won’t spoil it for you but I want your opinions afterwards.”

Yaz finished with the mini eggs and looked at the scale. 345g. She’d gone over from a 100 grams each, a sizeable chunk over. She internally blamed Jo for being so distracting.

“That’ll be £3 please.”

“You went a bit over,” Jo said pointing at the number on the scale.

Yaz shrugged it off. “You earned it, you really put in the work last week,” She said, trying to play it as intentional.

“Well, you’ve figured out how to incentivise me. I'll give you that.” Jo grabbed her wallet out of her back pocket and handed Yaz the money.

“I expect the same this week if you want those rosy apples.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Jo did a mock salute and both women let out a breath of laughter.

“You should come by my shop one day,” Jo said as Yaz gave her her bag. “I mean we don’t have anything by Gillian Flynn or anything about how to teach yoga, it’s more history and space stuff. But it’s cool and I could do with seeing a friendly face, who knows, you might even be able to help me feng-shui the place a bit, if that’s something you’re any good at, I’m rambling now—”

“I’d love to, I’ll come by next week sometime?” Yaz cut off what appeared to be a gradually forming nervous energy. 

“Great, well I’ll see you before then, but yeah, cool,” Jo made her way to the shop door.

“Bye,” Yaz said, and Jo gave her one last look before closing the door. 

Once she was out of sight, Yaz immediately dropped her forehead to the wooden counter. You earned it? What was she thinking? She lightly bumped her head against the hard surface.

She eventually came off the counter and put her head in her hands. She could have done with a customer, something, anything to take her mind off the swarm of emotions running through her.

She picked up the phone and called Bill.

“Hey girl, guessing you’re about to fall asleep mid-shift?”

“She was here.” 

“Who?”

“The woman. The one from my class.”

“Ohhhh. Get in there Yaz. No such thing as coincidences in this life, babe.”

“It wasn’t a coincidence, she knew I worked here and she dropped by.”

“Well that's a good thing ain’t it, she wanted to see you!”

“Yeah....I guess...or she just wanted to fuel her rampant sugar addiction.”

“Mate. Have you figured out if she’s gay or single yet?”

“No, I need to. But it’s like, I pre-plan how I’m going to find out and then I see her and it all goes out of the window.”

“Wow, you’re hopeless.”

“And this is the thing, I don’t even know her. I met her like, what? Three weeks ago? And I’m like totally…” Yaz trailed off as she searched for the right word. 

“Horny?”

“I was thinking more besotted but yeah, pretty much.”

“You have class on Friday right? Just make a casual gay comment and see how she reacts.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno, make it up.”

Yaz sighed, her elbows resting on the counter.

“She asked me to come round her shop next week.”

“Perfect! Do a bit of sleuthing. I mean, is there a vibe?”

“I have no idea, maybe? I mean, I hope so.”

“How short are her nails?”

“Errr I didn’t check.”

“See these are the clues, Yaz.”

“Sometimes I feel like I accidentally dropped out of the Intro to Lesbianism course and now I’m behind.”

She could somehow hear the smile plastered on Bill’s face. Yaz couldn’t help but laugh a little as well. This whole thing was absurd. Jo was completely disarming her and she had no retaliation, no tools to come back with. She didn’t even have so much as an ex-girlfriend she could casually drop into conversation. She could make one up? Yaz thought about it, but decided lying could be a can of worms in itself.

“Bless ya, Yaz, you’ll learn it all, just takes a bit of experience.”

Yaz put her hand to her forehead.

“I don’t know what to do,” Yaz admitted in a small voice.

“You’ll figure it out. For now, just see how it goes.”

Yaz closed her eyes and saw her face. She took a deep exhale, there was nothing left to say. She needed to give it time, play the game, the one she’d never dared to play before. She needed to muster some bravery if she was going to weather the storm that was Jo Smith. 

“Yeah, you’re right, anyway, I’ve gotta go.”

“Okay, babe. Take care.”

Yaz hung up the phone. She was none the wiser on how to move forward. All she knew was she was just going to have to take it one step at a time. All her yoga teachings would implore this ideal, to live in the now. Take appreciation for what you have. 

She had the mental image of her smile when Yaz tried a little joke. And it filled her with warmth from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.

Instead of trying to compartmentalise and suppress all those feelings, she was going to let them come. She never wanted to forget what it felt like when she fell into her life, the crash was so loud, it woke her up.

///

The next class passed through with no fuss. No pre-amble chats due to Jo being to the wire on time and no sultry noises during their weekly head massage, much to Yaz’s disappointment. 

Graham stayed behind for a little chat about his cobra pose. Yaz did a quick glance over at Jo who offered her a polite smile as a way of saying goodbye. Yaz returned the gesture and focused her attention back to Graham. Just because she had admitted to herself that she was a bit lovestruck, didn’t mean she was lacking in all emotional discipline that she couldn’t turn herself back into professional-mode. 

On the weekend, Yaz practised yin yoga for her teacher training course and did her usual vinyasa practices. The vinyasa style was more energetic than the styles she usually taught, as the poses were linked through flowing movements. Her mind was in harmony with her body as she moved. Her stomach and legs flat on the ground as she pushed up with her hands and arched her spine backwards into a cobra pose. 

Inhale...one...two…

On her exhale she moved back down to lie on the mat. She was just about to press up again when the volume of her music turned off and then back on again. She frowned, reaching over for her phone.

_@josmith is following you on instagram_

Yaz immediately rolled over onto her back, looking up at her phone. She re-read the notification over and over.

So much for meditation. She really needed to remember to use airplane mode. Yaz looked over her profile picture. That smile got to her every time. Yaz started scrolling, some photos of the shop, some of deserts, and one of her with someone. A woman. She had curly hair that bounced around her features. Jo’s arm was around her. They looked happy. Yaz put up her defences against her incoming panic. It could be anyone. Or, it could be someone. 

Yaz put her phone down. It was a rabbit hole and if she looked for a single second longer, she was never going to climb out of it. 

She made a plan to visit the shop on Monday. She needed answers to questions that had swirled around in her brain for far too long. 

_///_

Yaz spent around five minutes going through her wardrobe looking for the perfect top. She settled on a black blouse that had small red roses printed over it. She tucked the shirt into her dark grey skinny jeans, and walked over her shoe rack near the door. She shoved on a pair of black ankle boots and grabbed her leather jacket from the coat rack.

She looked into the mirror, she’d braided her hair into two bunches that ended at the bottom of her ears, letting the rest of the hair fall down in its natural waves.

Yaz usually wore some light make-up for days at the shop but today she’d kicked it up a notch and opted for a berry toned lipstick as well. She gazed over herself, it wasn’t often she’d put in this much effort, and she felt a little silly for doing so. But Jo had her trying for once, and that was in her mind probably a good thing.

Yaz walked along the road Jo said her shop was, and Yaz worked out where it was exactly from google maps. The outside was painted in a rich blue colour with the shop’s sign in a shimmering gold. 

With every step towards the shop, Yaz felt her nerves creeping in. By the time she’d reached the door she’d nearly talked herself out of it, but it was too late now. 

Yaz pushed the door open and heard the bell ring over her head. As she shut it behind her she looked around for Jo, but didn’t see her straight away. 

The counter was near the entrance and beyond that was walls of antiques, Yaz walked further in, her eyes were drawn to an ornate glass vase that sat on a table surrounded by other equally fascinating objects. She wanted to keep exploring, but she thought it best to find Jo before her nerves got the better of her. 

There was an archway leading into another room where Yaz could hear movement. The room was covered with shelves upon shelves of books that lined the walls. There were cramped aisles in between large shelving units that filled the space entirely. She made her way through the jungle of books until she found her at the very last shelf, on a ladder, her entire focus on the blurb of the book that was in her hands. 

Yaz took a moment to take her in before making herself known. She was in the same jeans, but today a mint coloured oversized shirt that complimented her light skin, and her short hair had been pulled into a ponytail at the base of her neck. 

“Can I help with anything?” Jo asked, putting the book away, not yet looking down to see who it was. It gave Yaz a couple of seconds to get her thoughts back in order.

“Hi.” Yaz looked up at her and smiled. 

“Oh, Yaz! Hi!” Jo said, a little startled. “Didn’t realise it was you, sorry my brain is not with it today,” she said as she climbed down the ladder. “You look nice,” Jo said, giving her a quick scan.

“Oh, thanks,” Yaz said, briefly glancing down at herself.

“Dressed up all for me or are you on your way somewhere?”

“Oh, er, bit of both, going to meet someone in a bit.” She didn’t want to appear desperate, and it was true that she was going to meet Bill after this. “A mate of mine from Uni,” She tagged on as an afterthought, so she knew it wasn’t a date. Yaz then noticed the box at her feet. “Still moving in?”

“It’s the last of the stock I ordered,” Jo said, opening up the cardboard flaps. “This is why I had to get into yoga, the moving was murder on my back.”

“How is it now?” Yaz asked, this was the first she was hearing of back troubles. She definitely remembered asking Jo about injuries, maybe she didn’t want to make a fuss.

“A lot better, thanks to you. If it weren’t for your class I think my spine would be mush by now,” Jo said. “Coffee?” Jo asked, already scooting past Yaz, who followed her to the front of the shop.

“I can always give you some good exercises for your back,” Yaz said clocking the coffee machine behind the counter.

“That’d be great, I mean hopefully I’m on the mend. So what’ll it be?” Jo asked, hands posed on the counter.

“Whatever your having is fine,” Yaz said. She wasn’t particularly keen on coffee but she’d indulge it on this occasion.

“Two cappuccinos coming up,” Jo said, swirling around to face the machine.

“You’ve certainly got a lot of stuff,” Yaz said her eyes back on the antiques.

“Some of it’s new, but most of it I’ve collected over the years, ya know from travelling here and there and everywhere.”

“You travel a lot?”

“Oh I couldn’t be in one spot for more than a few weeks at one point. A born traveller, both my brother and I. But then he got married and calmed down a bit, now I guess, I have too.”

“And you decided to hitch your post to Sheffield?”

“Yup, my brother and his wife live here and we are the only family we’ve got now so I thought I’d give it a go.”

Yaz nodded. “Is he older or younger?”

“Older. We used to drive each other up the wall when we were growing up.”

“I know that feeling, I’ve got a younger sister. She still drives me bananas.”

“I bet,” Jo smiled, pouring the milk she had frothed into the espresso that lay at the bottom of two large mugs. “Have you ever travelled?”

Yaz shook her head. “Went to Leeds for Uni but came back home after that. I like things that are familiar to me, my friends and family are all here too. I guess it’s a comfort zone,” Yaz said before taking a sip.

“It’s understandable. I’m looking forward to a fresh start, it was definitely time for a change, maybe there is something in this “staying still” lark.”

“How come you needed a change?” Yaz asked, raising her coffee to her lips.

“Me and my ex split up about six months ago, I wanted to settle down, she didn’t. So I thought I’d re-start, settle down with myself.”

Yaz nearly spat out her coffee. She. Did she just say she? An ex who is a she? She’s single? She’s gay? Gay and single. Gay and single. It was like someone had hit the big red button in Yaz’s brain and that was the red alert playing over and over. This woman who she was infatuated by, was, indeed, gay and single.

Yaz put her cup down, trying to register the information. 

“You okay?” Jo prompted.

“Yeah! Fine, sorry, gotta be honest with you I don’t drink a lot of coffee,” Yaz said, instantly wishing she’d thought of a better excuse as to why she probably looked like a deer in headlights. 

“You should have said, I’ve got plenty of tea. I’m really trying to cover all the bases, and I heard people like take-out drinks, so I thought I’d give it a whirl.”

“It’s a good idea.” Yaz was no further into fully processing that all her dreams were alive, but she needed to divert this conversation. “So you said it’s all history and space books back there?” She asked.

“Mainly, I am obsessed with history and all things science, I like sci-fi stuff but ideas about what our lives might be like in the future. I get lost in reading for hours, wondering what the future could be or what my life could have been like way back when.” Jo paused to take a sip of her coffee.

“I’ve never given it much thought,” Yaz said honestly.

“A good place to start is to ask yourself, If you could go backwards or forwards in time, which would it be?” Jo asked.

“I guess I’d go into the future. See if anyone will ever have me.” Yaz looked back at her. It was only after she said it, Yaz realised that was a good opportunity to specify. 

“I’m sure you’ll be off the market any time soon, any bloke would be lucky to have ya.”

Ah. Yaz knew this was her chance to send a signal right back to her, but she couldn’t think of a single casual way to slip it into the conversation. Seconds were running thin and it was about to get weirdly silent, she was just going to have to say it;

“I’m gay too.” 

“Oh,” Jo said. 

“Is that okay?” Yaz said, panic dripping in her veins, she didn’t know what to expect as a response, but it wasn’t that.

“Yes of course, sorry. It’s just… your nails.”

Yaz let out an exacerbated laugh. How could something she only just learnt about be this critical to the culture? It did make sense as to why, and she used to keep them short when she did more active sports, but up until this week she didn’t know failing this maintenance would send out some signal that she was totally unaware of.

“Yeah I missed the memo,” Yaz said, looking down at her nails. “I guess you could say I’m pretty new to all this, haven’t been out for very long.” 

“You know why lesbians tend to keep them short right?”

“Oh yeah, I get it, I’ve just been out of the game for a while. Actually, I don’t know if I ever joined the game until about a year ago. Yoga kinda takes over my time and I don’t really date,” Yaz said before realising that wasn’t quite the message she wanted to give off. “Trying to put myself out there a bit more now, though.”

“Fair enough, well then, any woman would be lucky to have you.” 

Yaz looked up from her hands to see a soft smile forming on her face. _And I want that woman to be you_ , Yaz thought, now smiling back at her. She wanted to take what she’d said to mean, _I think you’re attractive_ , but Yaz knew that she could just say it to be polite. The tension that was forming between them suggested the former.

“You too.” Yaz gave the suggestion back to her. A pause grew in between the look they gave one another.

It was at that moment the bell above the door rang. The noise brought Yaz back into the reality that existed outside of Jo’s eyes. Both women turned from each other to look at the old lady who’d just walked in.

“I won’t keep you,” Yaz said, setting her half finished coffee on the counter. She didn’t want to leave, but equally she didn’t want this perfect moment to be ruined by anything. If she left now, she could leave on a cloud.

“See you on Friday,” Jo said. And Yaz nodded, walking towards the door. They exchanged one last look, a light coyness was emerging in Jo’s smile. 

Yaz made it two steps out of the shop when she backed herself up against the wall. She felt like she was in a dream, like the pieces of a puzzle that were slotting into place in a way reality would never allow.

Yaz took some deep breaths, a smile never leaving her lips. 

This beautiful woman whose energy could be used as a light source, was indeed available and potentially into her. She didn’t know for certain if she was, but she felt a vibe, and just maybe she could feel it too.

It was more overwhelming than she thought it’d be. If she wasn’t available, Yaz could at least try and carry on with her life as normal. But now, the hope was filling her senses whether she wanted it to or not.

She had a chance.


	3. Part Three - Renegade

_You're like goddamn dynamite,_

_Lit up in a perfect way._

_You're the match that made me strike,_

_Crazy little renegade._

_\- In and Out of Love - Oh Wonder_

  
  


Yaz didn’t want to get ahead of herself, but there was a spring in her step as she walked to meet Bill. Once she arrived at the restaurant she waited for Bill at their usual table.

Bill arrived a few minutes later, sitting down opposite her.

“Sorry I’m late, traffic.” 

“Not a problem,” Yaz said, humming to herself as she looked over the menu.

“What’s up with you?”

“What?”

“You’re awfully chipper.” Bill folded her arms, resting back in her seat.

“Am I?”

“It’s a bit unnerving.”

“I stopped by Jo’s shop on the way here.”

“Ah, and I’m guessing that went well.”

“It did. I found out she’s single and she’s gay.” 

“Well well well, looks like your eternal dry spell might be coming to an end.”

“I dunno about that. I feel a connection, I think. Maybe? All I know for sure is I need to trim my nails.”

“For real. She ain’t gonna let you round her pussy until you’ve filed down your claws.”

“Dude.”

“What? It’s true! Got any pics of this lady then? She must be well fit for you to swoon so hard.”

Yaz got out her phone, opened up Jo’s Instagram and showed Bill. 

“She is pretty, like I wouldn’t kick her out of bed that’s for sure, but I don’t get what is so special.”

Yaz took her phone back and put it in her pocket.

“She’s just so...magnetic. I know that sounds stupid but her energy is just...everywhere, like, her confidence is just so natural. And she’s so smart, like she knows everything about science and history. I mean, we haven’t spoken at length, but I’m assuming she knows a lot of stuff.”

Bill just nodded slowly. 

“Right.” 

Yaz sighed. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Well I’m happy for you Yaz. Now you just need to figure out how you are gonna get in her pants.”

“I dunno…” Yaz trailed off feeling her anxiety start to swirl in her stomach. 

“Oh come on Yaz.”

“I’m her teacher, it feels a bit inappropriate.”

“You’re not her teacher outside of that studio. And if I’m honest babe, I bet she could teach you a thing or two.”

“Well… I don’t wanna come on too strong.”

Bill raised her hands over her face in frustration. 

“Just ask her out, what’s the worst that could happen?” Bill asked as she dragged her hands down her face.

“She says no and stops coming together to my class out of the sheer awkwardness of it all and I never see her again?” Yaz suggested.

“Well okay, but Yaz you have to start taking some chances.”

Yaz took a moment to take on board what Bill had said. She knew she was right. She was living with her whole life under control and whilst it kept her safe, the amazing things were in the moments beyond her bubble. 

Things like Jo.

///

At the next session Yaz kept her eyes peeled for when Jo walked in the room. Luckily she didn’t have to wait very long as she heard her warming Yorkshire accent from behind her as she was laying out her mat.

She turned to see Jo chatting to Clara. Again. And yet again, Jo had said something so utterly hilarious that Clara laughed so much she felt a desire to touch Jo’s arm as a way to steady herself. Yaz didn’t doubt that it was probably a very funny thing that she had said, but she could tell Clara was being overly flirtatious. 

Yaz knew she had no good reason to feel so envious. But Clara’s coy little smile made her blood swirl around at breakneck speed, if she watched any more she felt like she may combust.

“Okay, let's get started,” Yaz prompted and the class sat down on their mats.

The practice had now become essential to Yaz if she was ever going to get her blood down to a normal temperature. Despite herself telling her mind that it was irrational to feel this way, she still did. 

On a couple of poses, she would walk around to ensure that everyone was doing it correctly, and make any adjustments. 

Every time she would check Jo to make sure she was okay. Her downward facing dog had come a long way since when she’d first joined, but Yaz convinced herself that there was still work to be done.

“Breathe in for three ...one...two…three,” Yaz faced Jo who was propped up on her feet and hands, her bum in the air, head relaxed between her shoulders. Yaz pressed her hands into the small of her back and pushed her further into the stretch. “Exhale, one...two….three,” Yaz mind wandered into a sexual territory if only for the briefest of seconds, images flashed in her mind of her bent over with Yaz’s fingers inside her, calling out her name in shameless abandon. 

Her mind snapped back and she realised her hands were still on her back. She came away from her, the familiar shame crept in. The feel of her cotton T-shirt under her hands was not enough to satisfy her need. She craved the feeling of her skin under her hands, she imagined how smooth it would be, like polished marble that she could effortlessly run her fingers against.

Over the weeks, Yaz became more proficient in her ability to compartmentalise all her desire she had for her whilst still teaching the class to a high standard. She would simply do what she had always practised through yoga, her mind would wonder and she would simply bring it back to the present.

As the weeks drew on and the more she’d discovered about Jo, the more she indulged in the thoughts. She’d gone from replaying that little hum of enjoyment from a few weeks ago to wondering what she tasted like. The more her hope grew, so did her lust for her.

But she had it under control. For now at least. There were plenty of other students to distract her mind if it wondered astray. 

After class, Yaz was anticipating that she’d have to suffer through more flirtation from Clara but as usual, Jo threw her off from her own expectations.

“Hey,” Jo said, walking over to her. 

Yaz met her with a smile.

“I was just wondering, in your professional opinion, how I’m getting on?” Jo asked, fiddling with her nails.

“You’re doing great. You’ve come such a long way in the past month from where you started.”

“That’s good, I feel a bit better for it ya know, my head doesn’t run as fast. Starting to think you might be onto something with this whole yoga thing ya know.”

“Well I hope so, otherwise I’m out of a job.”

“I do want to get better, it’s harder than I thought it’d be that’s for sure.”

Yaz shrugged. “We are all on different paths, but as long as we are here and we are practising then we are improving.”

“Actually, speaking of improving, what I came to ask you about was your private session rate? I’m interested in maybe having some classes.”

 _Shit_. 

“Oh, well it's £40 per session.”

“Okay, could you do fortnightly?” 

“Sure. If you message me tonight we can hash out the details.”

“On Instagram?”

“Yeah, actually no, just take my number. I’m not always checking Instagram.” It was a half truth, she didn’t always check it, but she could let herself exaggerate how often that was when she was trying to get someone’s number. 

Yaz reached for her phone and pulled it out of the wire that connected it to the speaker. Jo grabbed hers and typed in the digits Yaz showed her on her screen.

“Great, well I’ll speak to you later then,” Jo said.

They exchanged one last smile before Jo turned to leave. 

_Shit, shit, shit, shit._

Just when she thought she’d got a handle on the balancing act, Jo threw a spanner in the works. She was going to have to be professional, between the two of them. Alone. With no distractions to fall back on. 

It was an impossible feat, a trial by fire, but one Yaz was happily skipping towards. The excitement leapt around her, wrapping around all the fear she felt too.

This was going to be interesting, if nothing else.

///

When Yaz returned home that evening she put her phone in her bedroom before making dinner in an attempt to put Jo at the back of her mind. 

After she ate she gave up and checked her phone that had been tossed on the bed. She lay on her stomach looking at her notifications.

Four texts from an unknown number.

**_[19.03]_ ** _Mondays are good for me, how about you?_

 **_[19.04]_ ** _It’s Jo by the way._

 **_[19.04]_ ** _The one from your yoga glass with about as much balance as a giraffe on roller skates._

 **_[19.04]_ ** _Just in case you knew another Jo._

Yaz smiled to herself as she read over the texts. She even rambled when texting. Yaz saved the number and thought of a reply.

**_[19.11] Yaz_ ** _Mondays are good for me. We can do studio or I’ve made my spare room into a mini studio, sending you my address, whichever works best :)_

Yaz knew having her in her flat would only add fuel to the fire. Her bedroom was only a few meters away and if it were up to her, they’d have a totally different type of practice.

**_[19.11] Jo_ ** _Your house is actually closer to the shop (I live in the flat above, not just living in amongst the books LOL) Can we do 7.30?_

**_[19.12] Yaz_ ** _Yeah that works. Shall we start this Monday coming?_

**_[19.12] Jo_ ** _Sounds great, looking forward to it. You’ll go easy on me right?_

**_[19.12] Yaz_ ** _Can’t make any promises._

Yaz debated a winky face but thought it was coming on a bit too strong.

**_[19.13] Jo_ ** _Can I bargain? I can make you the best cuppa afterwards_

**_[19.13] Yaz_ ** _You want your 40 quid worth don’t you?_

**_[19.14] Jo_ ** _You have a point, I’ll see you on Monday - at least this giraffe can provide a bit of entertainment if nothing else :)_

Yaz read over the text before typing;

_Don’t worry about looking like a Giraffe. Giraffes are cute._

She groaned at her own idea, deleting it out. 

**_[19.15] Yaz_ ** _See you then, I’m sure I can elevate you to flamingo status in no time._

**_[19.16] Jo_ ** _If I believe in anyone, it’s you ;)_

Yaz thought about that wink for the rest of the evening.

///

The weekend dragged in such a way that Yaz was sure time was moving much slower than it usually did. Yaz tried to busy herself by agreeing to go clothes shopping with Sonya, which ended up with Yaz as a glorified shopping-bag carrier. Yaz saw a couple of things she liked but she was too distracted to really focus on what she needed.

When Monday finally dawned, Yaz was already smiling as she woke up to the day. Mango walked over her casually as he did most mornings, Yaz sussed that he just wanted to check that the primary food-giver wasn’t dead.

Yaz pottered about on her shift at the sweet shop, luckily the new stock order had come in that morning which contained a new box of rosey apples. Yaz put some aside as she restocked, Grace had already told her to take what she needed and she didn’t ask any questions as to why she wanted them.

For the rest of the shift when the shop was empty, Yaz drew up a lesson plan for Jo. The main things she needed to focus on were her balance and her breathing. For Yaz, the main thing she needed to focus on was keeping her rampant pining to a bare minimum.

Yaz gave herself plenty of time to get ready. She put on a bit of foundation and mascara and even put on some of her favourite perfume that her Dad bought her for her birthday every year. She wore her favourite peach coloured high-waisted leggings with a white nike sports bra that could be carried off as a crop top. She pulled her hair into a ponytail before letting her hands fall to her sides, she sighed as she looked at the mirror, nerves and excitement now twisting around one another. It was a bit more effort than she’d usually put into her appearance when she was teaching, but hopefully not so much that it was obvious.

Fifteen gruelling minutes passed after the time they’d agreed. Yaz tried to distract herself with her phone but it was no use. When the doorbell finally rang, Yaz jolted off the sofa, a sharp stab of nerves hitting her insides.

Yaz opened the door to see Jo with an apologetic look on her face.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, I really did try to leave on time, but then a delivery showed up just as I was about to leave and they didn’t have half of what I ordered and--” 

“Hey, hey, calm down. It’s all good, It’s not exactly like I’ve got a busy Monday night planned.” 

“Right, yeah, sorry anyway.”

“Come in,” Yaz said moving out of the way.

“Shoes off?” Jo asked, pointing down at Yaz’s shoe rack.

“If you could please, you can hang your jacket as well.”

Jo discarded her trainers and denim jacket, Yaz did hate it when she wore those blue ombre leggings instead of sweatpants. The material hugged her like a second skin and it made avoiding staring at her only more difficult. Yaz walked her through to the open plan living room and kitchen.

Yaz looked round to see Jo running her hand through her hair, her stress level was still way too high. 

“Deep breaths.” Yaz looked at her, taking a long inhale. Jo followed her lead as they both exhaled. “You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

“You’re right. I just didn’t want to offend you seeing as I’m supposed to be paying for your time.”

“Not my time, just my service. We can still do an hour, like I said, my plans of watching netflix and eating watermelon can wait.”

“Watermelon?” Jo questioned, her eyebrows raised.

“What's wrong with that? It’s a great fruit.”

“Meh, I can’t remember the last time I ate it to be honest. Or any...fruit.”

“The more I’m learning about your diet the more concerned I’m getting.”

“Are you trying to tell me living off tea, coffee and custard creams isn’t the best way forward?”

“I mean, it’s _a_ way...not sure I’d call it forward.”

Just then Mango popped out from under the dining table to inspect their new house guest.

“Who is this little guy?” Jo asked, kneeling down to stroke him.

“Mango.”

Jo picked him up, “If I steal him off you does he count as one of my five-a-day?”

“Nope, and you wouldn’t want to. He’ll pretend to love you just to get snacks, it sometimes feels like a very one-sided relationship.”

“Well, snacks are very important to me too.”

Jo put him down and looked around the living room and kitchen.

“Cute place,” Jo said, walking around the living room.

Yaz knew she hadn’t exactly put a personal flair on it bar a few house plants, but it did have a good view of the city and it was so close to work so it was a no-brainer.

Yaz saw Jo’s eyes clock the photo of her and Bill on the TV stand. Graduation, the moment before they threw their caps to the sky, after that Bill went off and bought a bottle of wine from the off licence and that was Yaz’s last firm memory of that day. 

Jo picked it up and smiled down at the photo.

“Bill, she’s a mate.” 

“What did you study?”

“Sport Science.”

“Nice, I did Physics and Chemistry. Long time ago now,” Jo said, putting the photo down.

Yaz was right about her assumptions that she was smart, a joint degree in two sciences that Yaz could barely understand at a secondary school level was pretty impressive.

“Shall we crack on then?” Jo asked and Yaz nodded leading her to the spare room.

Yaz closed the door behind her; “Just in case Mango ended up trying to disrupt us.” 

The room was small but it worked for one-on-one teaching. Yaz had paid a bit more attention to furnishing in here, decorating the room with two large mirrors mounted against one wall, some plants dotted in the corners, a speaker and a space of extra equipment. The nights were starting to draw in as Summer faded into Autumn but there was still a soft evening sunset that poured through the large window. 

Yaz had set up two mats parallel to one another. 

Yaz sat down crossed legged on her mat and Jo did the same. Jo’s mat was closest to the mirrors as Yaz knew students got a better sense of where they were going wrong if they could study themselves in the position. Yaz leaned over to switch on her Spotify playlist and came back to face her. The music started to play, it was on shuffle but it just so happened to be one of Yaz's favourite songs, Intro by the XX. She had a long list of artists that got her into the zone, but Jo was now in that space, orbiting her.

This was going to be tough, those hazel-green eyes were already luring her in.

“Let's close our eyes and begin with some meditation,” Yaz said, doing just that. “Our mediation is a vital way for us to reconnect with our minds and with our bodies. From here we can start to listen to the sound of our breath, letting go of all the stresses our day has put us up against. And as we breathe we can feel our muscles begin to relax...our shoulders coming down as we gently soothe ourselves into the present moment.”

Yaz could hear her shuffling about a bit, but decided to carry on.

“We can take a moment now to recognise what we feel now in this present moment, all the thoughts of the day still rushing around our minds. Focusing on the breath we can take a deep inhale...one...two...three...and on the exhale we can begin to move away from our thoughts, from our stresses and worries...exhale...one...two...three...letting go of any burdens...anything that doesn’t serve us in this moment.”

Yaz heard movement again and opened her eyes to see Jo rearranging her legs, then scratching her nose, then her arm. Yaz already knew how useless she was at staying still, but the intimate nature of their setting brought it more to the forefront of her attention.

“Sometimes we catch ourselves moving, maybe to scratch an itch or adjust ourselves. It's important to acknowledge these ticks then come back to our breathing.”

Yaz watched as the corner of Jo’s mouth curled into a smirk. 

Yaz wanted for her to come into the present with her and leave her lateness behind. After five minutes of guided meditation, she then instructed Jo to stand at the narrow edge of her mat. Once they were in cobra, Yaz came out of the position to give Jo some guidance. Her form was fine, there was a clean arch in her back as she lifted up off the ground, her core, legs, feet and toes still firmly on the mat. Yaz did notice one thing, and knelt down and came to face Jo.

Yaz caught her chin between her thumb and two fingers, slowly bringing her head back down to until their eyes met. A beat passed over them as they looked into each other's eyes. 

“Raise your heart, not your chin,” Yaz said, smiling.

“Ah, I’m always doing that.” Jo let out of a breath of laughter that ghosted over Yaz’s face. Her cheeks were flushed from the exertion, a bead of sweat rolling down her forehead. The thought of causing this reaction in other ways made Yaz’s toes curl. 

Yaz held her chin for a second longer than she should have. They shared a smile before Yaz went back to her mat, after a few sun salutations Yaz decided it was time to move onto tree pose.

They stood opposite one another, hands brought together at the centre of their chests.

“Now next exhale, we are going to slowly raise our left foot and place it on our inner right thigh.”

Jo tried and immediately came out of it, her foot back on the ground. She sighed, “I’m useless, I’ll never be a tree.”

“You will, just pick a still spot on the wall. Anything that’s being reflected in the mirror.”

“Ooh.”

“What?”

“I may have...been looking at you,” Jo said. Seconds drew out between them with a tension Yaz could taste on her tongue. “Ya know, just to make sure I was doing it right,” Jo said but the time between her initial words made Yaz suspect that was more of an afterthought.

Lights were flickering inside her, a bulb or two threatening to blow. 

“Well,” Yaz moved out of her eye line and off to the side. She looked at the painting of a hummingbird on the wall then back at Jo. “Pick a spot on that painting, painting is not going anywhere, trust me, I hung it myself.” This time she held the position for a good five seconds before losing her balance. 

“Better already,” Yaz commented.

“Would be easier if I had something to hold onto.”

Yaz knew she shouldn’t do the idea that just popped into her brain. But before an internal message could talk her out of it, she moved in front of Jo, just to spite that annoying voice.

Yaz held out her hands. Jo followed with her line of thinking and moved to hold them. Jo tried again, gripping onto Yaz’s hand’s when she felt herself falter. 

Jo had clearly picked a spot in Yaz’s eyes, and she looked straight back into hers. The warmth of her fingers clutching against the back of her hands made Yaz feel like she could barely keep her own balance and she had both feet still firmly on the ground.

“You’re doing it,” Yaz said. “Just breathe...inhale...one….two...three…” It was as much a reminder to Jo as it was to herself. “Exhale...one...two...three…” Yaz brought their hands together before wrapping around the outside of her hands and pressing them back together in a prayer position. 

“Inhale….one….two….three…keep your eyes focused.” Yaz slowly moved her hands away. “Exhale...one...two….” Yaz never made it to three, Jo’s hands came flying out onto her shoulders as she lost her balance, her foot landing back onto the ground with a thud as she stumbled out of the position and into Yaz’s personal space. 

“Shit, sorry,” Jo mumbled.

“It’s fine, are you okay?” Yaz’s hands flying up to her forearms.

“Yeah, it's just frustrating.”

“No worries, it’s a tricky posture to master. You need to clear your mind of all thought, including all the frustration, and just focus on the spot.”

As Yaz was speaking the only thing she could think about was their hands, hers were still on her forearms, Jo’s still on her shoulders. 

Seconds ticked by and a ledge appeared, Yaz could jump. Press herself against her right now, push her up against the mirrors, do all the things her mind had been envisioning this past month. 

Signals were there, but Yaz couldn’t work out if she had enough to make the leap. The ground beneath the ledge was still covered in a mist of uncertainty. 

“Are you...” Jo said, breaking the moment in half. Yaz immediately backed off from the ledge, and backed off physically from her. 

“Anyway, let’s get back to some warrior poses. Nice and simple, and you can keep both feet on the ground.”

Smiles were exchanged as Yaz returned to her mat. It was the kind of smile saved for when two people both recognised the air between them had shifted, but neither had the courage to do anything about it.

 _Lets just try and get through this like none of that ever happened,_ Yaz instructed herself. She needed to at least attempt to shake it off if she was ever going to make it through the last twenty minutes.

When they moved into warrior two, Jo did a good job mirroring Yaz’s posture. They stood with their feet spread, legs bent, hips facing towards the door, arms out running parallel to their mats. They were two people in a near perfect synchronisation, both in bodies and in their breath. 

Yaz wrapped up with Jo flat on her back in a shavasana pose. As she guided her through her meditation;

“This is an opportunity to reflect on what our practice has taught us,” _It’s taught me that I don’t think I can do this,_ Yaz thought, sadness now presenting itself. She started to dwell on the thought and whether it was true.

Her mind quietly reminded her what she was supposed to be paying attention to, and that was the light head massage she’d been giving Jo for the past two minutes. It was still Yaz’s favourite part of the session, but it felt different when it was just them. All her energy was on her, and that attention felt like it was flowing right back.

“And when you are ready, open your eyes,” Yaz said. 

Jo did so and sat back up. Yaz sat back down across from her.

“How was that?” Yaz asked.

“Great, feeling an improvement.”

“Good, yeah, you are coming along really well. And as long as you are getting something out of it then it’s working.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be a yoga master, but I see the benefits.”

“No one is a yoga master, we all just do what we can. I know a teacher who has been practicing for twenty years and he can’t touch his toes, so.”

“I bet you’ve got a few moves up your sleeve.” 

“I mean, I have been studying yoga for a good few years now.”

“What's like the hardest move you can do?” Jo asked and Yaz thought about it for a second.

“Probably a scorpion handstand,” She answered.

“Can you show me?” Jo asked. “Not to turn you into a dancing monkey or anything,” She added.

“It’s fine,” Yaz was happy to indulge her curiosity. Showing off wasn’t something she was really used to, but she might as well if it could in some way help her chances. 

Yaz turned herself so she was parallel with the mirror. She started by facing the window, she moved onto her hands and feet before shifting her weight forward into her arms, and with a little push her feet were off the ground. She lifted her legs until she was in a full handstand, which she presumed, was a perfect straight line. 

Next she moved her head up to look from the floor to the window, a curl now developing in her neck, with her back mimicking the movement at the same time so that it was that it was now arching in a c shape, her legs now folding over. 

As she breathed into the movement she softened her knees so her calves could come down over to meet her head. The tips of her toes touched the crown of her head, coming into the posture. Full scorpion headstand. 

“Are you kidding me?”

“Nope.”

“That’s insane! How are you even doing that? That’s against the laws of physics!”

“It’s just practice,” She said in a nonchalant tone. She knew not many people could touch their toes to their head whilst balanced on their hands but she also knew that anything was possible with practice. She slowly unravelled herself back into a headstand and then back the right way round so her feet were on the ground.

“Pfffttt, I don’t think any amount of practice will mean I can do that. That’s practically witchcraft,” Jo said. “Not to call you a witch, mind.” 

“Well what can I say? I am magic.” Yaz said sarcastically.

“Indeed you are.”

Jo was impressed, and it gave Yaz a spark of gratification. 

Just as Jo was about to leave Yaz remembered something.

“Oh I have a surprise for you,” Yaz said, darting off to the kitchen. Jo put on her coat and Yaz came back with something behind her back. “Close your eyes.”

Jo smirked, doing as she was told.

“Hold out your hands.”

She did so and Yaz plopped the bag of rosey apples into them. Jo opened her eyes.

“Oh Yaz you are an actual angel.”

“It was nothing.” 

Jo ripped the seal to peek inside. “Not nothing, that’s so sweet of you, thank you,” Jo moved in and wrapped her arms around her. Yaz’s inhale got caught in her throat. She moved her own arms around her petite frame. She was warm from the practice, the smell of old books and light mist of coffee filled her nostrils. This was what she felt like to hold. 

Devastatingly perfect.

Yaz exhaled into her embrace, never wanting to let go. But alas, time was moving along, and it was going past far too quick. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t give to savour the feel of her body against hers for just a little while longer.

Yaz let go at the same time Jo did and walked her to the door.

“See you Friday?” Yaz asked.

“Yeah, course. Thanks again,” Jo said holding up the bag of sweets.

They traded one last goodbye and Yaz closed the door. 

She promptly slumped herself against the door, sliding down it until she reached the ground. 

_///_

After about ten minutes Yaz put aside her internal warfare and made her way to the bathroom. She stripped off her work out gear and climbed in the shower. Usually a cold shower was all part of the ritual of her practice, part of her winding down into her evening. 

But not tonight. She could still see the way she was looking at her after she fell, the way her body felt as they hugged one another. She washed herself, surrendering to where her mind wanted to go, letting it off the leash as she ran away with the thoughts.

What could have happened if she’d just kissed her? If she’d wanted just as badly as her? She wanted to fuck her up against that mirror, laying kisses on her neck as her hand slipped under her leggings. Yaz tried to imagine what her cunt felt like, what she sounded like when she pushed her fingers inside her, _fuck,_ Yaz breathed deeply, feeling a wetness that was thicker than water starting to pool between her legs.

Yaz quickly turned the shower off and got out, she wrapped a towel around herself and went to the bedroom. Closing the door she fell onto the bed, her hand untying the towel, clutching at her breast, she thought that Jo would push her in here for her turn after she’d fucked her in the spare room. She wanted her so badly the thought of her body on hers was causing deep pulses in her cunt.

She spread her thighs a little, letting her fingers wander down to her vulva, her arousal was like a flood when all other thoughts before meeting her had caused mere rivers. She closed her eyes and swirled her fingers around, stirring up waves. Down to her entrance, and back up to her clit, up and down. The only picture in her mind was Jo, naked and on top of her. Her voice murmuring in her ear, commenting on how wet she was for her. 

She rested two fingers tips on her clit and pressed lightly against it. She bit her lip as a delicate noise left her, she wanted to moan fully, to commit to the fantasy but her imagination was going to have to amp it up. She moved in circles, Jo was on top of her touching her just in the way she wanted it, Yaz pictured a seductive smile dancing on her lips.

She tipped her head back into the pillow as she moved around harder and faster, moans now fleeing from her lips. She didn’t know that all it took was a little less shame and her mind would run with reckless abandon, the dam was broken. Jo was rubbing her clit, ravenous for the sounds Yaz was making, trying to get her to the dizzying levels of heaven.

Her other hand was clutching at the sheets, but she wanted more. Moving her other hand from her grip on the duvet, she pushed two fingers inside of herself whilst maintaining pressure on her clit. She’d spent more time than she’d care to admit gazing at Jo’s hands. Her fingers were long, nimble, and Yaz wanted them everywhere, but in that moment she just wanted them buried in her cunt.

She was warm and soaked, clenching around her fingers as she curled towards the spot she knew so well. She allowed herself to indulge in the idea that Jo was fucking her with those extrodinary fingers. She could still smell the scent of old dusky pages and coffee circulating in the air, filling her with the illusion that she was still here. Her panting breath from their practice was now tickling her neck as she whispered to her;

_“You wanted it so bad, didn’t you Yaz?”_

The words she conjured were pushing her towards an edge. She nodded. Her fingers were fucking her hard now, making sure to hit that spot over and over again. Her other hand crafting small, shooting quick bursts of pleasure on her swollen clit, moaning louder with every hit.

_“You gonna come for me, babe?”_

Another line from Yaz’s brain straight into her consciousness. She needed to hear those words in her ear, to have blonde hair falling over her eyelids, to have the taste of her skin on her lips. To have her. She was swimming in her mind, wanting to dive further in.

“Fuck, I want to come for you, Jo, please, make me come,” Yaz said out loud, her voice was thick, her eyes staying closed. She could still pretend, if only for a little while.

Jo was kissing her neck, teeth began to graze her skin as she came. And it was all for her. Yaz cried out her name, she’d never been so loud just masturbating but she was enraptured by the fantasy. Through the orgasm she heard Jo’s voice in her ear;

_“You’re such a good girl, Yaz.”_

She arched her back off the bed, hips bucking to meet her fingers, only slowing down once every last surge of ecstasy had hit. She wanted to be such a good girl for her, and she would be so good to her, given the chance.

Yaz opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. The empty space above her left her feeling cold, her heartbeat gradually sank down to its regular pace. She moved her hands away, a deep exhale vacated her lungs as she re-grouped with the reality around her. She was alone, with a crush so immense it was taking over her whole life.


	4. Part Four - Compete

_Your smile is like a breath of spring,_

_Your voice is soft like summer rain,_

_And I cannot compete with you, Jolene._

_\- Dolly Parton - Jolene_

  
  


On the Friday session Yaz walked up to the studio with embarrassment knotting itself around her. Today she’d have to face her. The woman she’d masturbated over every night that week. And whilst it did feel a little shameful, it was no way near enough to make her stop. Every night her name would be in her mouth as she came around her fingers. The highs were almost heaven.

Even the thought of seeing her today sent a spark to Yaz’s underwear. There was something mischievous to it, like she had a dirty secret. Yaz knew when they inevitably spoke before class she would be picturing in the back of her mind how she came twice on Wednesday whilst looking at her Instagram.

She made her way into the studio to see Rose still packing up.

“Sorry, hon. Some people wanted to talk and we got chatting.”

“You’re fine,” Yaz said, walking up towards her.

“So, how are things going with this new lady?”

Yaz rolled her eyes but kept a soft smile on her lips.

“I dunno. I haven’t really made the move yet, ya know.”

“I mean I get it, I remember feeling so flippin’ frustrated only seeing John like once a week.” Rose finished zipping up her mat and threw the bag over her shoulder.

“Well, we’ve started some one-on-one classes, so.” 

Rose wolf whistled. “Get you! You’ll be in there before ya know it.”

“Get off,” Yaz said playfully, shoving her shoulder. 

“Well, keep me posted on the goss, ever since me and John got together I do like to live vicariously through other people’s dating lives.”

“No idea why,” Yaz said.

“Rose?” 

Both women looked to the door to see Jo standing there. 

“Oh my god!” Rose said walking over to Jo and they hugged each other tight. Yaz was initially shocked that Jo was so early, then she was just purely confused at how they knew each other. She walked over to join them.

“You said you were going to New Purity?” 

“...Is this not New Purity?”

“No you div, this is Pure Energy.”

Jo blew out air from her cheeks. “Well you can’t blame me for messing that one up, they all sound the bloody same!”

“Well you definitely signed up here,” Yaz chipped in.

“Oh Yaz, hey, I’m guessing you know my sister-in-law then?” Jo asked, and Yaz felt dread wash over her.

_Oh god._

“Wait what?” Yaz asked before she’d actually caught up.

“Yeah, she puts up with John for some reason, well I guess someone had to,” Jo said, jibing at Rose who smirked.

_Jo is John’s sister? Jo is John’s sister?!_

“He keeps me on my toes at least. You still coming round for dinner tonight?”

“As long as you’re cooking.”

Yaz wanted to slowly back out of the conversation and go process the information that she was trying to bone one of her friend's family members, but she didn’t get a chance.

“Well, you’re in good hands with this one,” Rose put her hand on her arm and Yaz came back into the room, realising that she missed the last few lines of the conversation.

“I am indeed, Yaz is a great teacher,” Jo said smiling at her. 

“Aw, well I try my best.” 

“Even took her up on a couple of one-on-one lessons,” Jo told Rose.

_Fuck._

Yaz saw Rose processing the information right up until the final piece of a puzzle eventually clicked into place.

Yaz turned from Rose to look directly in front and she had never been more grateful to see Clara popping up behind Jo, tapping her on the shoulder. 

Jo’s attention was torn away, Yaz didn’t want to look at Rose but she could see her out of the corner of her eye slowly turning on her heels to face her.

“Well,” Rose said. 

Yaz glanced over to see the biggest smirk plastered on her face. She didn’t know what to say and it didn’t look like the ground was going to swallow her up anytime soon so she turned and started walking back to her mat. Rose caught her by the wrist and she looked back at her.

“I’ll call you later, okay?” Rose said. Yaz nodded, but she wanted to just forget the whole thing. 

The class began to filter in and settle down, but Yaz never settled. Her mind racing with thoughts, she kept as far away from Jo as possible. All the images she’d curated in her mind the past couple of days kept popping into her vision every time she looked at her. It wasn’t as pleasantly mischievous as she’d hoped, the whole interaction with Rose had completely thrown her.

By the end of the class she’d managed to calm her anxiety a little, but she still felt on edge. What if Rose ends up saying something to her? The thought brought a lump to her throat.

Yaz quickly packed up and made her way through students who were still putting coats and shoes on. 

_///_

That night as Yaz was washing up she saw her phone flash up with Rose’s name on the counter.

She dried off her hands and picked it up.

“Hey,” Yaz said.

“Hey hon, are you alright? You seemed a bit shaken up.” Rose’s tone was full of concern and affection and it helped Yaz feel at ease.

“Yeah, it was just a surprise is all. Didn’t expect it all to come out that way. Sorry for just walking off...I guess I felt a bit exposed.”

“It’s fine, hon. I mean, I was a bit shocked too. But the world works in funny ways.”

“You didn’t tell her did you?”

“No, don't worry. But listen,” Rose sighed. “I love Jo. With all my heart. She is an amazing person, she’s so smart and full of energy, you’ll never be bored with a Smith I’ll tell you that.”

“Why do I feel like there is a but coming?”

Rose paused for a second. “But,” She sighed. “She’s been through a lot, and rinsed through a lot of girlfriends in the process. I mean she was kinda like that before River but then she really nosedived after for a few months when they split. She’d shagged half of London before we convinced her to move up here with us.” 

Yaz didn’t know how to initially process all that information, but she was immediately struck by how much she was learning about her past. Yaz didn’t have a problem with her having loads of exes, but against her two notches in the bedpost, she was now feeling a new worry, what if she was too inexperienced for her? 

“Sounds like a bad break-up,” It was the only thing she could think of to say.

“It was a divorce,” Rose corrected.

“She was married?”

“Yup. River was the first woman I met who could pin her down.”

 _God._ Yaz tried to reconcile with the fact that she’d never even gone after someone before, let alone pin anyone down.

“What I am trying to say is that I don’t know if she is still rebounding, I mean getting the shop and having us about seems to have calmed her down a bit, but I just…” Rose paused whilst she searched for the right words. “I guess I just want you to be aware before you get too invested, I mean, you’re my friend and I just don’t want to see you get hurt. 

“Okay.” Yaz felt shaken, the avalanche of information was still coming over her.

“I mean who knows? Maybe Sheffield is a new leaf for her, she does seem happier now. Maybe it’s all behind her? It might not even be worth mentioning.” Yaz could sense that Rose was trying to backtrack a bit, and whilst it may be true that Jo was no longer looking for a re-bound, the anxiety was now in her veins. 

The snow from the avalanche had finally settled around her. Yaz still didn’t know how to get out of it, but she was certain of one thing. She’d never wanted someone like this before.

“I really like her, Rose.” 

“She’s hard not to like, to be honest.”

Yaz ran her hand through her hair, she was leaning against the counter in her kitchen, wondering if she had any wine left.

“What am I supposed to do?” Yaz asked, walking over to open the fridge.

“I mean I’m not gonna discourage you from going for it, just wanted you to know what might be around the corner.”

Yaz started to wonder if she even cared about any of that. She knew she should, but she was in too deep.

“I know, thanks for letting me know though,” Yaz said as she poured a glass of wine.

“She’s an amazing woman Yaz, truly. She just needs to figure herself out, I think she’s on the right path.”

“Yeah, I mean I don’t even know if she likes me so,” Yaz said, taking her wine over to her sofa where Mango hopped up to snuggle into her. 

“She did mention you at dinner, and she had a massive grin on her face. I think you’re in with a shot.”

Yaz lips curled into a smile she couldn’t prevent even if she tried.

“Yeah we shall see,” Yaz said.

They said their goodbyes and Yaz hung up the phone. The call had stirred up a whirlwind of fear and anxiety, but it ended on a note that was enough to drown out the rest of the noise, even if it was for just a moment. 

Yaz sat down with her wine and sipped her way through all the thoughts that went through her brain. 

Thoughts of who River was, what these other women were like, what stuff Jo actually “went through.” Yaz imagined her hooking up with these women, how she would take them home and have her way with them, would she be sweet or rough? Yaz admitted to herself that she wanted the latter.

The crush was blooming into a dangerous infatuation, Jo was becoming the only thing her mind wanted to go to. She turned on the TV to at least try and think of something else that night.

After two glasses of wine she had lost interest in the TV and was looking down at her phone. She polished off the last drop in her glass and stared down at Jo’s name in her contacts. 

10.48pm. _One little text wouldn’t be too bad._

 **_[22.48] Yaz_ ** _So I finished Gone Girl...that was a bit of a shock at the end!_

Yaz put her phone done and waited for a buzz. Luckily she didn’t have to wait long. 

**_[22.50] Jo_ ** _Did you like it?_

 **_[22.50] Yaz_ ** _It was great, I love her style of writing - I need more!_

 **_[22.51] Jo_ ** _I think I’ve got a copy of Sharp Objects lying around, if you think Gone Girl was a shocker you better buckle up. I can bring it to class or just pop by the shop whenever you are free :)_

 ** _[22.51] Yaz_** _Thanks,_ _it is refreshing to read something that isn’t about yoga once in a while._

 **_[22.51] Jo_ ** _Well it’s good to take a break from all that zen and peace, we all need a bit of excitement now and then ;)_

Yaz felt a familiar cartwheel of excitement as she looked at the winky face.

 ** _[22.52] Yaz_** _I’ll have you know my life is very exciting, I bought a raspberry & apple juice instead of normal apple juice today because I’m just so wild _

Yaz wished it wasn’t the truth, but up until messaging Jo, the juice had been the most exciting moment of her day. 

**_[22.53] Jo_** _Woah, slow down Yaz, we can’t all be like you XD_

Yaz hit send before her nerves got the best of her.

 **_[22.53] Yaz_ ** _I’m sure you can keep up._

 **_[22.54] Jo_ ** _I always try my best ;)_

Another wink and Yaz could nearly hear her own heartbeat. Should she try and do a wink? Or would it come off as awkward and creepy? If she could, she would just text her about how much she’d been fantasising about going down on her and that she should come round as soon as possible. 

**_[22.55] Yaz_ ** _Well if your yoga is anything to go by, I believe you ;)_

Yaz hit send and her heart did a backflip, she watched the three dots that signalled Jo was typing something. 

**_[22.55] Jo_ ** _Never been a teacher’s pet before, do I get points?_

 **_[22.56] Yaz_ ** _I mostly keep a mental tally, and I do gold stars, not points._

 **_[22.57] Jo_ ** _How many am I on? Am I your favourite?_

 **_[22.57] Yaz_ ** _That’s for me to know. I’m not supposed to have favourites_

 **_[22.58] Jo_ ** _Doesn’t mean you don’t though ;)_

 ** _[22.59] Yaz_** _No it doesn’t. You’re definitely in the running_

 **_[22.00] Jo_ ** _Let me know if there is any extra curricular activity that can put me in the top spot ;)_

Yaz bit her lip, her now heart racing into overdrive. There was no denying it, no signals left to decode,this was full-on flirting. Her thumbs danced over her screen, her brain had gone blank. She saw that Jo was typing another text.

 **_[23.01] Jo_ ** _But between you and me, I have a sneaking suspicion that I already am the favourite_

 **_[23.01] Yaz_ ** _You might be right. No harm in trying to keep in my favour though ;)_

Yaz slipped herself from a seated position so she was lying down on the sofa, her heartbeat still in her ears. She looked up at her phone and forgot that the rest of the world even existed.

 **_[23.02] Jo_ ** _It’s a shame we don’t have a private session on Monday, I’ve been practising my tree pose._

Yaz was also annoyed at their fortnightly schedule, but she was overjoyed to learn she wasn’t the only one.

 **_[23.03] Yaz_ ** _Agreed, I’m sure I’ll get a preview on Friday’s class_

 ** _[23.04] Jo_** _Now I’ve gotta perform under pressure, shit_

 ** _[23.04] Yaz_** _I can always hold your hands again_

 **_[23.05] Jo_ ** _That is honestly more distracting_

Yaz didn’t know what to say, her head was swimming and she was running out of flirtatious banter. She finally landed on something, the truth. 

**_[23.06] Yaz_ ** _I know the feeling._

Nothing had caused her more distraction that Jo, every class was a mental endurance test.

 **_[23.06] Jo_ ** _Here’s me thinking you were a master of zen_

Yaz typed into her message box; _Not when you’re around._ She screwed her eyes shut as she tapped the delete button. Why couldn’t she jump? They’d been flirting and now it was all coming to a head, the moment was there but her thumbs were still.

She never expected when she met her that she’d really get a chance, but here it was, everything she’d been dreaming about. The universe, fate, life, something was giving her the dice. And her hand was paralysed around them. 

**_[23.06] Yaz_ ** _Not all the time._

Maybe that was enough for her to understand what she meant. 

**_[23.07] Jo_** _Is everything okay?_

Maybe not. 

**_[23.08] Yaz_ ** _Yeah I think I just need some sleep_

 **_[23.09] Jo_ ** _No worries, sweet dreams Yaz x_

Yaz stared at the kiss. She’d given the dice back to the dealer, but it didn’t feel like she’d totally blown it. Not yet at least.

 **_[23.10] Yaz_ ** _You too x_

**_///_ **

Friday had come around and Yaz was in full panic mode. And it for once, had nothing to do with Jo. 

Yaz shoved on her shoes as she raced to get out of the door. Grace had given her the afternoon off and she decided to have a nap before heading over to the studio. She had forgotten to set any alarms and was now running ten minutes late to her beginner’s class.

She closed the front door with a loud thud and her heart sank. The door locked automatically behind her. Her keys were still in the flat somewhere. 

She knew this day was coming. She did think it was a bit annoying when she first looked at the place, if not slightly odd, but the estate agent sold it to her as an extra security measure. She was always remembered to take her keys, but it would be today of all days that her mind was too scrambled.

On the day where she was already late she was now locked out.

_Great. Just great._

She made a split second decision to park this issue and deal with it when she finished her class. A class which was now just waiting on her. 

As she was cycling she remembered where she’d given a spare to Sonya. She’d be lucky if she still had it, Sonya was prolific at losing things, but it was worth a shot.

She quickly locked her bike up and jogged inside. 

She entered the room and all eyes turned to hers. Most people were already sitting on mats, some were still milling around. The only eyes who didn’t turn were Clara’s and Jo’s. They were both leaning against the mirrors, having what seemed to be a rather focused conversation.

_As if this day couldn’t get any worse._

“Hi guys, sorry I’m late.” Yaz spoke a little louder that she would have normally in order to snap them both out of whatever conversation they were having. They both turned to look at her and scurried to their mats. Yaz took off her coat and shoes and went to the front of the class to set herself up.

She unrolled her mat and reached for her phone which she usually kept in a handy pocket in her leggings. Not there. She got up and walked over to her coat now feeling a rising sense of embarrassment. 

_No phone. Fantastic._

“Sorry guys, I seem to have left my phone at home. Anyone feel like lending theirs for some music?” Yaz asked as she walked back to the front of the class, now feeling more aware of how much time they were already running over by.

Graham took sympathy on her and reached out his phone from his pocket. 

“Here you go, cockle.” 

Yaz took the phone. She plugged it in and searched for any old random yoga playlist on Spotify. 

“Thanks Graham, can someone at the back get the blinds?” 

Jo stood up immediately and did the blinds. Yaz appreciated that at least her students were trying to get her back on track.

“Once again, apologies guys. I managed to lock myself out of my flat without my phone. But life can be like that sometimes. We will still do the full hour but if any of you need to leave during meditation that’s fine too, if anyone wants a reimbursement then please contact the Pure Energy Facebook page.”

Yaz really hoped no one would take her up on the reimbursement offer, at best it would make her look untrustworthy, at worst it could potentially compromise her contract at the studio. But she had to offer it.

“Now, let’s begin by closing our eyes…” Yaz guided her students and herself into their meditation. It was beyond difficult, she spoke the right words to get her students into the head space, but her mind seemed hell bent on either dragging her to her keys situation or to whatever was going on with Jo and Clara. She persisted with her attempts to refocus her attention on her breathing and after a while she managed to get herself on track.

Her students had paid for her teachings and she owed them that much, so that’s where her attention needed to be.

Luckily, the rest of the class went without a fault. When they came to the meditation section, Yaz was relieved that no one left early, so that eased her anxiety a little. 

As soon as practice was over, Jo came up to her.

“Are you alright?”

Yaz sighed.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was going to call my sister who might have a spare key but that would be easier if I had my phone.”

“I can help,” Jo said. Yaz assumed she meant she’d lend her her phone.

“Thanks, I don’t know her number off the top of my head, but maybe I can call a locksmith or something,” Yaz said as she rolled up her map.

“No need.”

“What do you mean?” Yaz asked, looking up at her.

“I went through a bit of a phase a couple of years ago where I was collecting antique keys and then I moved onto locks, then I got interested in the mechanics and I bought a lock-picking kit. Became pretty proficient at it.”

“You can pick locks?”

“I mean, I haven’t had a go at an actual door before, but hey it's worth a try before you spend all that money on a locksmith.”

Yaz smiled for the first time that day. Maybe this wouldn’t work, but the gesture she was making almost made Yaz feel glad it had happened in the first place.

“Yeah alright then, let's give it a go.”

“Cool! Right, so plan of action, we head back to mine to get the kit and then we go to yours and I make a valiant attempt - but if I can’t then I say we call someone on my phone.”

“I have faith in you,” Yaz said and they smiled at one another. The warmth of Jo’s smile caused the anxiety to dissolve from her body. The problem didn’t seem to matter anymore. She was getting to spend time with Jo, and that was way more valuable than any of the contents inside her apartment.

_///_

Jo and Yaz made their way up to Yaz’s flat via the elevator. Conversation had been light and chipper, Yaz’s spirit was lifted by her beaming positivity.

“Thank you so much for doing this by the way, you didn’t have to.”

“I didn’t, I wanted to. When people need help, I do what I can.” 

Yaz smiled, touched by her compassionate nature. Once they made it to the flat, Jo knelt down at the door handle. Yaz leaned against the wall, her mind wandering to where she’d ideally like to have her knelt.

“Nothing too fancy, shouldn’t be a problem.” She said setting the kit up on the floor. “I say that now, let’s see how we go,” She said.

Yaz watched as she inserted the wrench and then the pick, her brow furrowing with concentration. Jo tried to turn the lock but it didn’t give. 

“Where did you learn to do this?” Yaz asked.

“YouTube, plenty of stuff on there,” She said, trying a different sized pick.

“How’s it going?” Yaz asked, a wisp of mockery in her tone.

“Never give up hope, Yaz,” Jo responded calmly and tried another pick.

This time, both women were greeted with a successful click of the lock, Jo gave the wood a small push and the door peeled open a couple of inches.

“Wow, you actually did it,” Yaz said. “You’re amazing, thank you,” She added as Jo got to her feet.

“Nah, just a bit resourceful.” 

“I’ll think of you next time I’m planning a big jewellery heist.”

“I’ll be your right-hand woman.”

There was a beat, Jo fidgeted with the pick in her hand and Yaz knew she had a limited window to ask her in. Her courage had failed her pitfully last night, and she was being given another shot.

_Just ask her. Just ask her._

“Fancy coming in for a drink? It’s the least I can do, to say thanks.” Yaz heard her own voice, she tried to sound as natural as possible but she could hear the nerves seeping through.

“I mean, I don’t drink, but I could murder a cuppa tea.”

“Cuppa tea it is,” Yaz said smiling.

They walked in, taking their shoes and jackets off, Yaz walked into her living room and saw her keys and phone on her coffee table and rolled her eyes. 

“Hello Mango!” Jo picked up Mango and stroked her. Yaz frowned as she walked to the kitchen.

“He likes you more than me,” Yaz said turning the kettle on. 

“I have a way with animals,” Jo said, sitting down with him on her lap, stroking his long orange fur.

“How do you take your tea?” Yaz asked, fetching two mugs out of the cupboard.

“Milk…”

“And?” Yaz prompted.

"...Six sugars?”

Yaz looked round then and Jo gave her a guilty look.

“How you have any teeth is a mystery to me,” Yaz said whilst she finished making the tea. In the end she could only bring herself to add five sugars to Jo’s.

Yaz brought over the mugs and sat beside her. She’d had enough time to get over the events of the past two hours and now she was settling into a flurry of excitement leaping around her stomach, Jo was here in her flat. 

Jo ran a hand through her hair and picked up her mug.

“Did miss a proper brew whilst I were away,” Jo said before having a little sip.

“You said you were travelling about a bit, with your ex. Where did you go?” Yaz asked.

“Here, there and everywhere. Japan, Indonesia, Australia, New Zealand, Chile, Brazil, Argentina...I mean the list goes on.”

“I’ve never been out of Europe,” Yaz admitted.

“Haven’t you ever wanted to travel? There’s loads to see.”

“Sure but, I dunno...I like my bubble, I like things being in control. I know I should push myself more, but anxiety gets the better of me sometimes.”

“How long have you struggled with anxiety?” Jo put her mug down and leaned her head on her hand.

“Ever since I was a teenager, I got bullied pretty badly in school, after I finished counselling I found yoga and it really helped. I wanted to share what I’d learnt with everyone, and here we are.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s in the past.”

“I think that’s ace what you did you know, you took what happened to you and made something positive to share with the world.” Jo placed her hand on her arm, Yaz held her breath for a second, praying that the hair on her forearm didn’t stand on end. “You are a very awesome human.”

 _And you’re the best person I’ve ever met_ , Yaz thought.

“Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself,” Yaz jibed.

They both took a sip of their tea. Jo took her hand away and Yaz missed her touch the moment it was gone. Last night Yaz was sure they were purely flirting, but now the screens had been taken away and it was becoming much more difficult to decode.

“I don’t know how you’re drinking that,” Yaz said, setting her mug back down.

“You’ll never change me, I’m afraid.” 

A question popped into Yaz’s head that she had been wondering for a while.

“Can I ask,” She started,

“As long as it’s not about my blood sugar levels,” Jo said.

“Is it just Jo? Or is that a nickname?”

Jo physically winced, her eyes screwing shut.

“What?” Yaz prompted.

Jo groaned.

“It is a nickname,” Jo said. Yaz gestured at her to elaborate. “And that’s all I’ll say,” She said, raising her mug to her lips.

“Oh go on, you know my name is Yasmin,” She tried to reason.

“That’s totally different, Yasmin is like the only name you would get to if someone said Yaz, and it is also a very pretty name, this is not that.” 

“Can I guess?”

“I have a feeling you’re going to anyway.”

“Josie?”

“Nope.”

“Joanne?”

“Nope.”

“Joooo...sephine?”

“Nope.”

Yaz paused for a second, nothing really came to her that she thought would be worthy of hiding.

“Jodie?”

“Nope.” 

Yaz was stumped.

“Give us a hint.”

Jo lamented, putting her drink back down and falling back onto the sofa. Yaz knew as well as her that she wasn’t going to give up on this. 

“It’s a song,” Jo said.

Yaz racked her brain but nothing sprung to mind.

“I got nothin’. Go on, tell me,” Yaz said.

“It's...Jolene.” Yaz took a second and the song came flooding back to her. Bill used to do that one on the Karaoke nights at the student union.

“Were your parents--”

“Insane? Yes. Big Dolly Parton fans? Yes. And if I ever hear that song again would it be a lifetime too soon? Also yes.”

“I think it’s nice.”

“Thanks. But don’t tell anyone at yoga, I swear I can’t have people sing that song to me anymore.”

“My lips are sealed.” Yaz smirked before picking up her mug once again. She’d been let in on a little secret, she’d gained a new level of trust.

There was some comfortable space between them as the moments ticked by. Yaz’s eyes wandered over her, no matter how many times she saw her, she was still setting her mind aflame.

“I think you did a great job today, by the way.”

Yaz let out a breath of laughter.

“Under the circumstances. Could have gone worse, I suppose. I just hope no one asks for a refund, it’ll look bad on me.”

“These things happen, no one seemed put out by it.”

“Did Clara say anything to you? She usually needs to get away pretty quickly after.”

There was a new pause. The air was no longer comfortable.

“No...er she actually asked me out. Just before you walked in.”

The tension in the room shifted on its axis. Yaz was stunned, she had held something so perfect and just like that it was slipping through her fingers and then what followed was a gradual sadness.

“Oh.” Yaz knew she didn’t do a good job hiding her feelings. Maybe she deep down wanted Jo to know that she wasn’t okay with this.

“Yeah...I mean she is a lovely girl.”

“Yeah, she’s really pretty.” Yaz concurred, trying to pin up a translucent veil of positivity. If Jo looked at her in the eye right now, she’d see right through it. 

“What do you think? Should I go for it?” Jo asked, her eyes finally finding Yaz’s.

_No, no, please god no._

“I mean....if it’ll make you happy. I think you should do what makes you happy.” 

A lie. And Jo’s eyes studied her face, as if she was looking for the cracks in the facade. 

“Yeah, I guess...maybe I should give it a go.” 

Yaz wanted to say something but all the words got caught in her throat. All she had to was speak, seize the moment, seize her. 

_Why can’t I just say what I want?_

Yaz’s breathing deepend, panic was dripping in intravenously. Her window felt like it had just been slammed closed in her face. Instead of standing up for what she wanted, she was powerless against her anxiety that crept like a shadow at the bottom of the door _...she didn’t want me. She’d be better off with someone like Clara..._

“Yeah, if that’s what you want.” Yaz’s voice almost gave out on the last syllable.

“Are you okay?” Jo asked.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I think it’s just been a long day,” She said. Jo’s inquisitive eyes seemed to be peering through the veil. Yaz wanted nothing more on earth for her to just tear through, to read what was running through her mind, to lean forward and capture her lips with hers.

“I bet,” Jo said, taking a sip of tea. “Well, I better be getting back. Told John I’d help with some stupidly boring tax forms for the shop.” Jo set down her mug for the final time. “But I have to say Yaz, you make a damn fine cup of tea. Even if you did only but in five sugars.”

“You could tell?”

“Can’t get one passed me, Yaz.”

_Then you must see how much I want you._

At that moment, Yaz came to two conclusions.

_Either she can’t see it, and I’m too much of a coward to tell her_

_Or_

_She knows, and she doesn’t feel the same._

Both hurt equally, two separate knives now torturing her from the inside. After she had put her coat and shoes back on, Yaz showed her to the door. She was leaving and it felt worse than Yaz could have possibly imagined. Her stomach felt like it had been scooped out, what hope she had was devastated. 

“Private class on Monday?” Jo asked as Yaz opened the door for her.

“Sounds good, I’ll see you then,” Yaz said, painting a smile on her lips.

Jo stood there, she opened her mouth to say something and Yaz hung onto the desperation that she might save her from her own helplessness.

She closed her mouth. But her eyes were still weary, like there was more to say. Yet it was safer to leave it unsaid.

Yaz closed the door. Yet again, she was brought to her knees by the mess Jo Smith had made of her. She couldn’t believe how high she’d raised herself, how dizzy she’d become on the intensity of her infatuation.

It was only now, when she had crashed back onto the carpet, did she realise how far she’d fallen.

A tear escaped down her cheek.


	5. Part Five - Aces

_Are there some aces up your sleeve?_

_Have you no idea that you're in deep?_

_I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week._

_\- Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys_

  
  


Sunlight peeked through the blinds of Yaz’s bedroom. Instead of facing it, Yaz grabbed a pillow and dragged it over her face, pulling her duvet in tighter around her. She wanted to be wrapped up in her misery, there was no way something as futile as daylight was going to do anything to help her mood.

Yaz usually wasn’t one for self pity, but Jo’s heart-melting smile was there every time she closed her eyes. She didn’t expect to lose her like this so quickly, but Clara probably flirted like it was second nature, and Yaz couldn’t keep up.

She heard a knock at the door that took her out of her wallowing state. She couldn’t think of a single person who’d just show up unannounced at her doorstep, let alone on a Saturday morning. She wanted to just ignore it, but the knocking persisted.

“Yaz? It’s Son, you better not have died of loneliness,” Sonya called through her door.

Yaz groaned. She had no idea what her little sister was doing outside her front door, but she knew it wasn’t going to be an easy social visit.

She pulled herself out of bed, and made her way to the door. When she opened it she saw Sonya, a large weekend bag in hand.

“You look terrible,” Sonya commented. Yaz tried to pat her hair down and straighten out her pyjamas. But by the time she’d done that, Sonya had already passed her and was beelining for the sofa. “Since when do you not wake up after ten?” She asked, sitting down.

“Rough night,” Yaz said, walking to the kitchen. “Cuppa?”

“Go on then. Not like you to go out on the lash, now I’m getting worried.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Yaz said, knowing that the inquiry was only going to press on.

“Then...what?”

“I just...got some bad news. And it really sucked and there is nothing I can do about it and why are there no sodding tea bags?!” Yaz exclaimed as she retrieved the empty box.

“Calm down, Yaz. Let’s talk.” Yaz let out a long, exhausted exhale. She turned from the cupboard to look at Sonya, who’s expression was steeped in worry. “Is this…like how you felt last time?” She posed delicately.

“No, I’m fine.” Yaz meant it. She knew her sister had been there through all her mental health difficulties but Jo was a whole problem all on her own. Yaz joined her on the sofa. 

“Tell me,” Sonya pressed. Despite their sisterly disputes and relentless teasing, all that could be stripped away in a split second if it meant caring for the other.

“There is this woman. She’s in my beginner’s class. And she is…” Yaz took a second to try and come up with the words to describe Jo.”The Sun. She’s so bright and wonderful and full of energy, everyone gravitates to her and she just...fills you with this warming glow. I mean, that’s what happens every time I see her at least.”

Yaz was expecting ridicule, the metaphor did sound like an over-exaggeration as she spoke it. But it was the truth of what she felt.

Instead of any jokes, Sonya looked fully engaged, and her eyes stayed sincere.

“And?”

“And, I thought there was something there, we were definitely flirting a bit. But turns out someone got in there before me.”

“She likes someone else?”

“I guess, this other girl in my class asked her out and she asked me what I should do.”

Sonya pinched her nose. “And what do you say?”

“I told her to do what makes her happy,” Yaz said, noting the pained look on Sonya’s face. “What?”

Sonya’s hand was now covering her eyes. 

“Tell me exactly what happened, just so I know I’m hearing this right.”

“She came over last night--” 

“She came round?”

“Yeah, I locked myself out and she came to pick the lock then we had a cuppa.” 

“Right, and then you two were flirting?”

“A bit, but it was more over text the night before.”

“Give me your phone.”

Yaz went and got her phone from her bedside table, unlocked it, pulled up the conversation and handed it to her. It wasn’t an object she would usually hand to her little sister this willingly, but she was desperate to try and salvage this, and it seemed like Sonya knew a considerable amount more about this than her.

“Don’t you dare text her,” Yaz warned.

“I won’t,” Sonya said, reading over their conversation. She put the phone down. There was a brief pause before she picked the cushion that was nearest to her and started beating Yaz with it. “Yaz, for, crying, out, loud!” With every word she hit her with the pillow and Yaz was left trying to curl herself into a ball as a form of defense.

“What? What? What did I do?” 

“She wasn’t asking you “Hey should I date this other girl?” If she wanted to, she would have gone and done it already. She was trying to find out if you liked her or not, you idiot.” 

Yaz took a moment to process what Sonya had just said. Was that really what the whole Clara thing was about? Was she that out practice when it came to dating that she really didn’t have a clue what was going on?

“Are you sure?” Yaz asked.

“Yes!” Sonya said. 

“But what if she does go for Clara now? Oh god, have I really totally screwed this?” Yaz slumped onto the back of the sofa.

“Not yet, you can still make your move, when are you next seeing her?”

“Monday, she is coming round for a private yoga class.”

Sonya’s mouth opened a little in pure disbelief.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. How have you not just gone for it already?”

“You know I’m useless at this stuff, and she’s had loads of girlfriends. I were worried I wasn’t going to be experienced enough for her.” Yaz fidgeted with her fingernails as she spoke, feeling a little ashamed that she was admitting this to her sister.

“She wants you to, Yaz. I’d put money on it. All my savings, in fact.”

“You don’t have any savings.”

“Mum and Dad’s then. Look, on Monday just go for it.”

Yaz let out another small sigh. Sonya seemed incredibly confident in her deduction, and Yaz wanted her to be right more than anything in the world.

“But I can’t just come onto her in the middle of practice. That would be so unprofessional.”

“Then come onto her after? At least ask her out, come on Yaz, you never get like this. You gotta seize the moment, strike while the iron is hot, all that bollocks.”

“But I --” Yaz was cut off by Sonya who once again picked up her phone. 

“ “Let me know if there is any extra curricular activity that can put me in the top spot,” and then a winky face? Come on, Yaz, are you actually blind? Should we pop to specsavers this afternoon? You’re already in and she wants it. Just go get the girl, already.” 

“Okay, okay...I’ll let her know on Monday.”

“Would be nice to see you actually bring someone to dinner anyways.”

Sonya handed Yaz her phone and she looked down at the text. Hope was cropping up again.

“How are so much better at this than me?” Yaz murmured, putting away her phone.

“Because I actually have a life.” 

“What are you doing here by the way?” Yaz realised they went straight into the Jo fiasco and she never did get to the reason why she showed up unannounced. 

“Yeah…can I stay on the couch for a couple of days?”

“What happened?”

“It wasn’t me okay. I told mum I wanted to move in with Ryan and she said I couldn’t, and I told her I’m twenty, I’m an adult, I can do what I want. And then Dad got involved and it got so crazy. So I told them I was staying with you for a bit.”

“Sonya…” Yaz put on a tone of disapproval.

“What? We wanna start looking for a place, he’s on good money from the repair shop.”

“And you are still looking?”

“Yes, it’s just not going very well.”

“Look I’m sure Mum and Dad aren’t opposed to you moving out, but you’ve only been with this guy for what like, two months?”

“When you know, you know.”

“Yeah, but, there’s no need to rush, Son. You’ve got all the time in the world, maybe get some actual savings behind you?”

Sonya groaned.

“But I just...want my own space.”

“I know, but you need to be working, let’s be realistic here.” Sonya sighed. Yaz knew it wasn’t what she wanted to hear but she’d never make rent without a stable income, they both knew that. “Just give it some time Son, you need to try some things before you find what you want to do. Look at me, I was a police officer now I’m a yoga instructor. Paths aren’t always presented to you, you need to go out and find the forks in the round.”

“Okay, old wise one.”

“And don’t get me wrong, I know how Mum and Dad are. But you can always stay ‘round here if they are getting too much.”

“Not if you’ve got this girl up in your sheets, I really don’t want to listen to that thanks.”

Yaz scratched the back of her head, still weighing up the possibility of that actually happening. Sonya seemed confident, and they had been flirting, so maybe all was not lost.

“I dunno about that. Will have to wait and see what she says on Monday.”

_///_

Yaz sent Jo a text on Monday morning to rearrange their session to take place at the studio instead of her flat, to which she agreed. Sonya still needed a bit of extra time to cool off before she went home, and Yaz didn’t want to rush her, if anything having someone around had really taken the edge off her nerves leading up to Monday afternoon.

But when the hours started to tick down, Yaz felt her stomach hollow itself out. She still didn’t have a plan, all she needed to say was “Hey, I think you should date me instead.” But she couldn’t think of a way to put it that was a bit more suave.

She was banking on the words coming to her when she saw her. 

She rolled out two mats parallel to one another in the middle of the studio, they looked a little adrift in the spacious room that was meant for many students. She shuffled through her phone to find her playlist, trying her best to distract herself from the impending individual who was probably going to be late.

No matter what, Yaz needed something to give and she needed it to be today. Whether it was good or bad, she couldn’t carry on like this.

Yaz heard a click of the door behind her.

“Hey,” Jo said.

Yaz turned around to look at her.

“Hi.”

“Sorry I’m late.”

“I’m not bothered. I started setting up ten minutes later than when we said, so if you think about it, you’re actually on time.”

“Thanks, I have always been notoriously bad with time-keeping.” 

Yaz walked over to the window to draw the blinds whilst Jo got herself ready. Once Yaz had pressed play on her phone, they met in the middle of the room.

Yaz sat crossed legged and Jo followed her movement. 

“How come we couldn’t do yours? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“My little sister. She had a big bust up with Mum and Dad and she needed somewhere to cool off.”

“Ah, nightmare.”

“It’s alright, she’s just. She needs to think about things more before jumping straight in. She thinks she loves this guy but she’s only known him a couple of months.”

“I don’t think time has much to do with it. Maybe she does love him. We never expect to fall in love, but that’s what happens.”

“I know. It just seems foolish to rush.” Yaz took a moment to consider where her bias was.

“Maybe I’m being a bit protective.”

“Maybe. But sometimes we have to take a chance on something. As my Dad always used to say, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise.”

Yaz smiled, the word “chance” plucked itself out of the sentence and weighted itself down with a second meaning. Yaz had a chance now. 

Or at least, after the practice.

“Shall we get started?” Yaz asked and Jo nodded.

Yaz began, as always with guided meditation. Yaz peeked at her and saw that her fidgeting was still prevalent. Yaz didn’t want to dwell on it too much, she felt just as fidgety. Her mind refused to clear. All the noise and chaos was sat only three feet from her.

After mediation she asked Jo to kneel at the mirror, her legs and chest pressed against her own reflection. Yaz knelt to face her.

“On the next inhale you're going to raise your heart up to the sky,” Yaz said, watching her do so.

Yaz brought her chin down again.

“I keep doing that.”

“It’s okay.” Yaz placed her hand between her shoulder blades and her other hand on the centre of her chest. “Next inhale, raise your heart as high as you can, this is going to help elongate the spine.” Yaz felt her heartbeat under her hand. “Your heart is beating so fast,” the observation startled her, causing her thoughts to slip out of her mouth.

“Yeah it’s err maybe the capri-sun I had before, sugar rush and all that.”

Yaz nodded.

“Inhale one...two...three...and exhale...one...two...three. Should feel that lengthening of the spine. Good. If you want to take a seat on the mat for me.” 

Yaz went over to the small cupboard and retrieved a strap from the closet of supplies. It gave her a small window to discipline her own breathing and bring herself down to a more relaxed state. Well as relaxed as she was ever going to be.

She turned around and saw Jo’s eyebrows furrow.

“What is that?” She asked as Yaz walked towards her.

“It's a strap. Sometimes called a yoga belt. You loop one end and fasten with the buckle,” Yaz demonstrated and then undid the fastening.

“And where’s that going?” 

“Nowhere yet. Lie down for me.” 

Yaz got a little kick out of having Jo do as she instructed. But her imagination was always more drawn to reversing the situation, she wanted to do whatever she wanted of her.

Yaz knelt at her feet and placed the strap around the arch of her right foot. She fastened it and handed the other end to Jo.

“Now get a firm grip on the strap and on your next inhale gently raise your leg out to the side.” Yaz watched as she did so, she shuffled in between the now wide space between her legs, looking down at her. “Inhale for five...one...two...three…four....five….”

“I thought you might be trying to torture me when you brought this out, turns out I was right.” Jo wrapped her hand around the strap for a second time.

“It’s not too bad if you remember your breathing. Exhale….” Yaz took a moment to watch the fall of her chest, just ensure she was on track. “One...two...three...four….five, try spreading your hip out a little more.”

“Yaz, trust me, that’s as far as it goes.”

 _Wanna bet?_ Yaz thought.

“Inhale...”Yaz placed her hand against her hip, “And exhale….” She pushed her hand against the bone finding a sizable amount of purchase. Jo went wide-eyed, if only for a split second, as she adjusted to the sensation.

“You can always trust a yoga teacher to find a couple of extra inches,” Yaz said, smiling at her little victory. “How does that feel?”

“Feels nice.”

“It shouldn’t feel nice.”

Then it clicked. She didn’t mean the stretch, she meant her hand on her hip. Yaz’s chance was sooner than she thought it’d be. But it may be her last one. 

She was looking down at the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen, with her blonde hair splayed around the mat, and her cheeks flushed from the exercise. She had the dice in her hand once again, and she’d be damned if she didn’t roll them now. 

“Are you going on this date with Clara?” Yaz asked. The moment shifted. Yaz could hear her own heartbeat in her ears. Jo’s grip on the strap loosened.

“That all depends.”

“On what?”

“You.”

Never in her life had Yaz heard someone say something so profoundly altering. Something that had the power to make time stand still. That little word was suspended in the air, into reality, changing everything between them. This was real. Jo wanted her. 

She needed words to make some sort of reply, but she’d forgotten all of them. 

Yaz felt a hand on her thigh that crept up to the hem of her top. Two fingers curled around the material. 

Jo pulled on her top and Yaz’s hands flew out to either side of Jo’s waist. Their faces now close together, and Yaz could feel Jo’s breath ghosting over her own lips. Yaz eyes left hers for the first time in minutes to flick down to her lips. 

Jo’s hand let go of the strap and cradled the side of Yaz’s face, her thumb brushing over her lips. 

“How long have you wanted this?” Jo asked.

“Since the moment I met you,” Yaz admitted in a quiet voice.

The moment was then fractured by the sudden and alarming sound of the door opening wide open. 

“Oh God!” Rose stood in the doorway, now covering her eyes. Yaz bolted up onto her feet. “You didn’t tell me you were here, I’ve got a private class in fifteen minutes.” She said.

“I’m sorry I just...didn’t think. Sorry.” Yaz helped Jo get up to her feet.

“Yeah, sorry Rose. It...wasn’t what it looked like?” Jo offered, and Rose raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah right. Keep that stuff away from the studio, okay?”

“Of course, sorry,” Yaz said.

Yaz and Jo both scurried around her as they packed up their things and shoved on their coats and shoes.

They both said sorry once again and Yaz suppressed a giggle as they passed her on the way out the door. She felt like a naughty school kid who got caught red-handed.

Yaz was expecting her anxiety to rise, her colleague was mad at her, and quite rightly so. Getting intimate with a student was one thing, but in a shared work space? It was the epitome of unprofessionalism. 

Yaz knew all that, but her anxiety never came. Happiness was overriding all of the possibilities for worry. 

Once they were outside she found herself laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. All that build up and to have someone walk in at the very last moment was almost like the universe was playing a practical joke, and it was undoubtedly, a bit funny.

Jo bit her lip and laughed a bit too.

“I’m never going to hear the end of that,” Jo said.

“Reckon she’s ever gonna forgive me?”

“ ‘Course. I mean, she’ll probably never let you forget it either.”

“I think I can live with that,” Yaz said, moving closer to her.

“Yeah, me too.” Jo’s hands found their way under Yaz’s open leather jacket and around her hips, pulling her in. Yaz’s hands rested on her shoulders, Jo’s eyes were looking at her like she was ready to pounce, and Yaz was a more than willing prey. Yaz was just about to give in to all her desires when Jo put a finger to her lips.

“Not here,” Jo said, gesturing with her eyes for Yaz to look over at the group of blokes who were stumbling out of the pub on the other side of the road. One of them was starting to clock on and stare at them, patting his mate on the shoulder. 

Jo hugged her and all thoughts of the ongoing looks left Yaz’s head, it was that warmth that she’d been craving all this time. She wanted to lose herself in it. 

Jo’s lips were on her ear, “Come round mine tonight?” She asked, her voice soft and breathy against her skin, her hands were firm around her hips, it sent a tingle of arousal straight to her crotch.

She came away to gage Yaz’s response. Yaz wanted to know why she couldn’t just come round right now, Yaz didn’t want to tear her eyes away from hers. And the way Jo was looking at her, she knew that neither of them wanted anything else than each other. 

There must have been other things in the world that existed, and perhaps Yaz had wanted a thing or two from the universe in the past, but not like this. It all felt rather secondary now. 

Yaz nodded. Jo leaned in once again and pressed her lips against her cheek. Yaz was desperate for those lips on hers, and then everywhere else, but it definitely wasn’t a bad start.

Jo unwrapped her arms and Yaz was hit with the cold air that must have been there the whole time. Yaz went to go unlock her bike and they took one last look at each other before Jo set off. 

The look was charged, practically palpable. Jo smirked, her lips telling a promise for what lay ahead for the rest of the night.

_///_

“Sonya! Have you nicked my lipstick?”

Yaz barrelled into the living room in her dressing gown trying to force a stud earring into a hole she swore should be where she was stabbing.

“Which one?” Sonya didn’t even look up from her phone.

“The MAC one, it's like a berry-red colour.”

Yaz finally got her earring in and started looking around for it and eventually found it in Sonya’s handbag, with no help from Sonya.

Bar the lipstick, Yaz was finished with her hair and make-up. She’d chosen to wear her hair fully down, curling it loosely. She applied the lipstick in front of the mirror in the hallway whilst she went through a mental list of clothing options.

“Sonya, can you help me pick something out?” Yaz called to her.

Sonya groaned but followed her back to her bedroom. Yaz opened her wardrobe and pulled out a black tight-fitting polo neck. “I was thinking, this top.” She showed it to Sonya who was now standing by her side.

“This skirt for sure.” Sonya said reaching for said item off the hanger. It was a silk midi skirt in a wine-red colour, not something Yaz reached for often but she was keen on the idea. She took the skirt off her and rummaged around her underwear, she then groaned.

“Shit, all my thongs are in the wash.” She knew the skirt would cling to her like a glove, it wasn’t going to work without one.

“Just go commando, you are going for a shag after all.”

Yaz considered it for a second.

“Do you not think that’s a bit much?”

“Oh come on Yaz, you’re saving her the trouble. If she’s anything like the blokes I’ve been with she’ll think it’s hot, promise.”

Yaz had to stop herself from physically cringing when she heard her own baby sister talk about her sex life. 

“Fine! I don’t have time to faff around anyway.”

It was approaching nine o’ clock and Yaz was already sick of how much time had passed without her. She scooted Sonya out of her bedroom whilst she got dressed. She decided as she was putting on her leather jacket to shoot Jo a text.

 **_[21.01] Yaz_ ** _Just leaving now x_

 **_[21.01] Jo_ ** _I’m counting down the seconds x_

Yaz had never been so turned on just from a text message. She said goodbye to Sonya and left the flat. As she walked down the street she could definitely feel the October breeze up her skirt, Yaz had never met with someone under these circumstances before, let alone gone commando. But the intention of this meeting was carved into stone.

///

As she approached the shop she noticed the lights for the shop were still on, and the lights for the flat above were off.

Yaz already felt like her throat was closing up. 

She approached the door and looked at the _closed_ sign, and knocked. There was no answer, so she pushed against the door. As it opened Yaz heard the chime of the bell above her. It was eerily quiet and it exposed Yaz to her sound of heartbeat that was thumping in her ears.

Jo was nowhere to be seen, so Yaz took the route the first time she came here. She walked into the room that presented a maze of bookshelves, luckily, Yaz already knew the way. She could sense Jo, like her instincts were telling her that she was behind the final row of books at the very back of the room.

And as she turned the corner, she was greeted by the only thing she cared to see.

“Hi.” 

Jo looked up from the book that was in her hands, and put it back on the shelf.

“Hello.”

Jo’s lips broke into a smirk, it was clear that she was trying to keep herself a tiny bit reserved, but a look of devilish excitement was seeping through.

Yaz took a few steps closer towards her so they were only standing a few feet apart.

They were both holding a piece of rope, hands gripped around the ends, pulling at all the tension that was now bound up in every strand. It was now a game of wills as to who would let go first.

In the end, it was Yaz who caved.

She flew onto Jo, pushing her up against the bookshelf, lips meeting lips for the first time and Yaz wanted to die right there just to preserve the moment of sheer perfection. 

Perfect did not by any account mean precise. There was nothing delicate or chaste about the way they kissed. It was rough, lustful and crazed. The longing that had wound itself in the rope was still unravelling itself into each other's mouths. Yaz audibly moaned into her mouth as Jo reversed their positions and pushed her up against the shelf, her hands finding Yaz’s waist. 

Jo’s tongue was inside her mouth, Yaz tasted tea, sugar and something else that laced her mouth with an addictive substance that she swore was not of this world.

Jo’s body couldn’t get closer, Yaz could feel the pressure shelves digging into her back, but she didn’t care. Jo’s hands ran up her thighs, over her hips and up to the hem of her skirt where she dug out her jumper, fingers running up her ribs to her bra.

Jo’s lips left Yaz’s to find new places, Yaz had almost forgotten how sensitive she was to neck kisses, so when the impact came, so did a small noise of enjoyment. 

“We totally skipped the niceties,” Jo said against her skin.

“Fuck the niceties,” Yaz replied breathlessly. Jo tugged off her jacket and left it in a heap on the floor.

Yaz felt teeth brushing against her skin, the intensity of the seconds that flooded the moment caused Yaz to let out another needy noise, her hands clutching at Jo’s shirt.

“Please,” Yaz said and the moment the word came out of her, Jo’s teeth sank down into her skin. Yaz gasped at the glorious pain that was drenched in pleasure. Her cunt had gone from wet with the thrill of finally having her to practically aching for more of her.

One of Jo’s hands descended from her bra down to the outside of her thigh grasping at the silk of her skirt, trying to hoist it out of the way. Jo grabbed her thigh and pulled it up in one quick motion to hook it over her hip. Yaz gripped onto her shoulder, her other hand at the base of her neck, weaving strands of blonde in through her fingers.

“Now I know for an absolute fact, that you can get your leg higher than that,” Jo said into her ear and Yaz smiled, bringing her thigh up higher, the heel of her foot anchored at the base of Jo’s back. Jo’s hand dipped underneath her skirt and Yaz remembered what had been kicked out of her mind to make way for the havoc of all her sexual desire.

Jo’s fingertips found the skin they weren’t yet expecting, Yaz could feel her smiling against her neck.

“Yasmin Khan, you are full of surprises,” She said, her fingertips brushing against her pubic hair, tracing down.

“I---I couldn’t find any that went with the skirt,” Yaz said before swallowing hard, her hands clutching at Jo, trying to wade through the sheer anticipation of the moment.

“Yeah yeah, so you say,” Jo said, her voice laden with satisfaction, her lips catching Yaz’s earlobe.

Jo finally showed Yaz some mercy and pressed her fingers lightly against her clit, running down the whole length of her. Yaz moaned, her eyes closed as she basked in her touch, nothing she had ever fantasied even remotely compared to the real thing. 

“ _Fuck_ , Yaz.” Jo breathed against her. There was no denying it, Yaz was the most turned on she’d ever been in her life, and this wasn’t just the layers upon layers of tension that had been piling up from this afternoon till tonight. She’d been waiting for this since the moment she first laid eyes on her.

Jo’s fingers traced back up to her clit and pressed down. 

“I love how wet you are for me,” Jo said.

Yaz moaned even louder as a way to expel some of the arousal that was bursting out of her as she started to draw expertly tight circles with her clit. With every circle, Yaz moaned into her neck, the skin under her lips was hot and smooth, but she needed her lips. 

She brought Jo’s face to hers and kissed her hard, that delicious tongue finding hers again.

“You’re so fucking hot when you moan like that,” Jo murmured into her mouth, pressing down harder with her fingers and gaining the exact noises to she wanted to illicit. “Can you come like this?”

Yaz nodded, realising she was careening towards the precipice way faster than she ever had before, and Jo’s fingers were working her well so that she was going to come sooner than expected. This woman that she’d wanted so badly for all this time was causing wild surges of pleasure throughout her body, it was filling her so fast she thought she was going to drown in it.

Panic flooded in and her hand flew out on top of Jo’s and she stopped the motion.

“You okay?” Jo asked, looking at her face, her idle hand coming to the side of her face.

“Yeah, yeah, I was about to..” 

“...Well that was rather the point, Yaz,” Jo pointed out, her thumb stroking her cheek. Her voice was thick with desire but it maintained its softness.

Yaz tried to get her thoughts into a cohesive order, but Jo was on her, her hand still against her clit. She didn’t want to untangle herself from her touch, she just needed a moment. 

“I know, it’s just. I’ve never…” Yaz still needed more time to find the right words. 

“Never….never orgasmed?” Jo tried to fill in the blank. Jo moved away from her a little, her fingers also moved onto her thigh. “Are you a virgin?” She said in total disbelief of her own question.

“No, no. I just… I’ve never come with anyone before. And I was getting there so fast I just--” Yaz put her hand to her face, now feeling a bit stupid, like she was ruining the moment.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine. We’ve been dancing around this for a while now, ya know, build up and stuff. 

And I really don’t care, quite the opposite, I really really need to see you come for me,” Jo said, closing back the space between them and her fingertips finding her once again, Yaz moaned as she clutched at her top. 

“Can I carry on?” Jo asked

Yaz nodded, all worry evaporating from her body and mind. Jo kissed her mouth, then her jaw, travelling down to her neck where Yaz was tickled by her breath on her skin.

“Just remember your breathing,” Jo said, clearly mimicking Yaz’s own words from class, mischief wound through her voice. 

“Fuck off,” Yaz breathed out a laugh.

“Not until I see you come for me,” Jo replied, her tone more serious now. Yaz had been dreaming of those words every night for weeks on end, now they were seared onto her skin. Those perfectly crafted circles were going around like clockwork and Yaz was having to work hard for air, moans falling out of her lips as her body began to tighten.

She pulled Jo in closer and held on for dear life, clinging onto her T-shirt as if she might be swept away in the currents of pleasure that every damn circle gave her. She worked her clit faster and harder but still with a skilled level of consistency. She could hear Jo’s breathing becoming heavier, almost to the point of sounds escaping her as she touched Yaz with both fervor and stunning precision. 

Yaz had gone from being drip fed, with all those little fantasies in her mind, to having the needle jammed in her arm, with the plunger being pushed straight down. Heat was whipping round her veins, now coursing through her body.

“Fuck, fuck, don’t stop, fuck—” Yaz didn’t know what else to do other than to swear. It was all too much in the best possible way.

She braced herself as hard as she could against Jo, the heat rose and rose, eventually causing her whole muscles to tense up. After all the suspense, Jo fingers kept going until she reached that final moment, the tension broke and she came hard. She cried out for the woman who was doing this to her.

The heat burst all over her and she willingly drowned in the euphoria of her high. Jo held her through the whole thing, her fingers never deviating from their pattern, not until Yaz was completely over all the aftershocks.

It took a good few moments for her to even remember where she was. Her body sank against the shelf, her foot finding the floor again, Jo against her, still just as close.

As she was trying to find the air her lungs were missing, Jo’s lips were on hers and she suddenly remembered how overrated oxygen was.

“I’m glad I was your first,” Jo teased when she came away from her lips, and Yaz felt a surge of blood rush to her cheeks, her eyes darted away from Jo’s. “Hey, don’t be embarrassed, you looked so gorgeous,” Jo said cradling her chin under her index finger, forcing her eyes back to hers.

Yaz gazed down at the smear of berry-red lipstick across Jo’s mouth, she even made that look hot somehow. She didn’t know what to say or what the point of words even were, so she decided to just kiss her again.

Jo’s lips moved down to reunite with her neck.

“So gorgeous, in fact…” Jo’s hands rode up her top, “Do you think I can get you there twice?” She asked, cupping her bra. Yaz felt like she’d only just re-joined reality, her senses were still trying to find what they remembered as being normal, but she was more than happy to be whisked off the planet again. 

“I’m definitely not gonna stop you trying,” She said with a coy smile wandering over her lips, her fingers once again intertwined into her golden hair.

“Well first, you are wearing way too many clothes,” Jo pulled at her top and Yaz worked with her to get it off, Jo had no issue undoing the clasp of her bra. She tossed behind her and before Yaz had a spare second to feel exposed, Jo’s mouth was on her nipple. Yaz clutched at her hair and inhaled sharply, her tongue working wonders around that sensitive area. Yaz could only hope and pray that her tongue was going where she thought it might be. 

Jo moved to swirl her tongue against her other nipple, once she was satisfied at how hard they were, she slowly dropped to her knees. Her hands were splayed against Yaz’s thighs, running upwards, riding her skirt out of the way. 

Yaz was once again looking into those jewelled eyes that seemed to change colour every time she saw them. Right now, they were a deep chestnut colour, warm with a fiery intensity. Yaz had never been so desired, never been looked at the way Jo was gazing at her now. 

She didn’t feel any awkwardness, this beautiful woman was kneeling at the altar of her, wanting to worship her. 

Her tongue ran up her thigh to her vulva that was already soaked in arousal, her arms snaked around her thighs, holding her in place. Yaz had a brief moment to marvel at how insane this all was. They didn’t even make it to her flat, she still had her shoes on, Jo was still in all the clothes they started with. 

Yaz was tormented by her tongue running up and down each thigh. She bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling, counting down the infinite stretches of time Jo made her wait through, until finally, her tongue met with her clit.

Yaz bared down on her grip in her hair, her other hand gripping onto the shelf near her head. Her tongue stroked down to her entrance, pushing in. Yaz made a noise between a gasp and a moan. She was not expecting her tongue _inside_ her, it was a little alarming at first but then she happily softened into the wonderful sensation. 

She pushed her tongue in further, then repeated the motion a few more times, dipping into the inkwell before painting those glorious circles once again on her clit. Call it what you will, calligraphy, artistry, all Yaz knew was she was incredibly talented.

Her tongue was just as stunningly accurate as her fingers, Yaz almost thought she must be in her head somehow. She got a slight twinge of anxiety that she might not be able to match this skill level, but she was then completely distracted from her thoughts by the fingers that swirled around her entrance.

“Can I?” Jo asked and Yaz nodded, giving a noise that could only be translated as _please_.

She bit her lip as Jo teased her for a few more agonising moments before finally pushing a single finger inside of her. Noises of sheer release found their way through the spaces between her teeth and her lip. Yaz knew she’d know exactly where to go from there, her tongue lapping against her clit and her finger searching for a sweet spot which it found in no time at all, and was made all the more obvious when Yaz murmured her name.

Another finger joined and pushed into her once again. Yaz moaned, her eyelids fluttered open. 

The ceiling was a stark reminder that she was still in the world. She looked down to remember where she was, half-naked at the back of some bookshelves, a beautiful woman between her thighs. 

It was an overwhelming sight at first, Yaz was always wary of the unfamiliar, but Jo’s eyes locked on hers and she was moving inside of her like she’d been there a million times before. Yaz hummed with pleasure, any fears dissolving under her touch. It was new, but that didn’t mean it had to be scary. The unknown was more glorious than Yaz could have imagined. 

The silky heat of her tongue kept working like nothing else on earth mattered, her fingers now moving rapidly, brushing against that spot faster than Yaz could take any useful breaths. 

She involuntarily bucked her hips against her mouth, her body taking over. Jo moved her free hand to her hip, pinning her in place. Yaz noted that despite her inflexibility, she was stronger than she looked. Yaz didn’t know how much she wanted that strength against her, until now. 

Yaz couldn’t hold on for much longer, and she didn’t want to either. Her moans were out of her control, her cunt was radiating heat along her nerves, spreading outwards. She screwed her eyes shut and her thighs clamped down as she came again. The release exploded across her body.

Jo didn’t stop until she was left shaking. Yaz was pretty sure her feet were going to fail her, so she grabbed at Jo the moment she stood up.

“Fuck,” Yaz said, there was no eloquence more encompassing than that. The first coherent thought she had was that she reckoned she looked like a complete mess, her heart was pounding, she could feel a thin sheen of sweat at her brow. 

Jo however, was looking at her like she was a fine piece of art. Yaz’s instinct was to shy away from the admiration, but she kept her eyes on hers despite how much it scared her to be marvelled at.

Jo breathed out a laugh, holding her waist. She moved a stray curl away from Yaz’s face and kissed her lightly. Yaz could taste herself on her mouth, she pulled at her T-shirt that was frankly annoying her now. Less than a minute had passed since it was all about her own pleasure, but now she needed the other half of her desire to be satisfied.

She craved the sound of her moans, the feel of her cunt, the way she looked when she came. 

“Would you...perhaps like to at least try and make it up to my flat?” Jo asked and Yaz laughed.

“We could try, I guess,” Yaz said, smirking.

Jo swiftly picked up her jacket, bra and top, draping them over her forearm.

“Don’t think you’ll be putting these back on anytime soon, but we can at least put it all in one pile.” Jo said, holding out her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> choo choo all aboard the smut train you little horndogs - here we go!
> 
> Much more to come x
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated x


	6. Part Six - Colours

_ Deep and true, green and blue _

_ Colours changing, every moment _

_ Speak my truth, about you girl _

_ Can you show me how you want it? _

_ \- Poppy Rose - Ocean _

Jo locked the shop door and switched off the lights before leading Yaz up the darkened stairway to her apartment.

The moment the door was closed, Jo’s lips found hers again, pushing her up against the door. Yaz let out a happy sigh, she wanted to kiss those lips indefinitely, but she was starting to feel a bit light-headed.

“Can I have a glass of water?” She asked.

“Of course, sorry. You’re a hard one to keep my hands off.” 

“Don’t apologise, I’m a big fan of your hands on me.”

Jo smiled and darted off to the kitchen counters. Yaz took a moment to look around. She was standing in a rather large open plan living room and kitchen area and furnished in a way that resonated with Jo. 

The furniture was effortlessly cool, a lot like her, and Yaz guessed a lot of it was probably antique. But Jo’s chaotic energy was thrown about the place with the smattering of clothes, plates, and books strewn across the room with no real rhyme or reason. 

“Sorry, I was gonna clean up before you came round, but I got lost in a book.” Jo handed her a glass of water. 

“I don’t mind.” Yaz took some large gulps of water, only realising just how much she needed it once the water hit her lips. “I feel like a bit of a lemon standing here without a top on,” She admitted, putting the glass down on a nearby bookshelf.

“But a very sexy lemon,” Jo said. “Here.” With one swift motion she removed her shirt. “Let’s level the playing field,” She said, unhooking her sports bra, taking it off and letting it fall to the floor.

Yaz slouched against the door and let her eyes take their time to observe her. They stood a few feet away from one another allowing for tension to grow between the space. 

“Shall we level it even further?” Yaz said as she started to take off her shoes and Jo did the same. Jo’s black skinny jeans required a bit more effort than Yaz’s skirt but eventually they were down to just Jo’s underwear.

The tension was in dire need of being broken, but something was holding Yaz back from being the one to break it. The change of scenery was also inferring a change of scenario, and her anxiety about her own experience was starting to kick in.

Jo walked over to her and kissed her neck, her hands exploring from her breasts down to her waist, over her hips. Yaz kept her hands on her waist, that nagging anxiety was not going away, manifesting itself into full blown worry.

“You okay?”

Jo was either mildly psychic or her stiffness gave it away.

“Yeah, yeah...it’s just…” Yaz trailed off, her confidence leaving her. She looked down, searching for some courage she could scrape off the floor. She was just going to have to bite the bullet and say it. “I really want to go down on you, it’s just I’ve never…” She let her sentence run away from her again, hoping she got the message.

“Come with me,” Jo took her hand and led her into the bedroom.

Yaz’s eyes did the quickest of scans over the room, again light touches of sheek-ness where there and so was Jo’s untidiness. She noted the exposed brick wall, a geometric rug and a large modern landscape painting that hung above the bed. But the bed was unmade, and clothes were heaped on a chair in the corner, and a plant was dying if not already dead on the windowsill.

Her eyes returned to the one thing she was interested in looking at. Jo cradled her face and kissed her softly.

“There isn’t much to it, but I can give you some tips if you like,” Jo said, pulling her over to the bed.

Jo took her underwear off and sat down at the edge of the bed. 

Yaz knelt in the space between her legs. She took a deep breath as she looked over all of her body. Yaz had pictured what she may look like naked more times than she’d care to admit, but the image she had in her mind did not do her any justice. 

“Tease me first,” Jo said, her back making impact with the mattress.

Yaz had thought for a moment that it might be even more embarrassing to receive help, but when Jo spoke she was ultimately grateful for the instruction. She knew how to take things slowly, she could do this.

Her hands glided over skin. Satin wasn’t as smooth as this, nor as perfect. Starting at her knees she slowly ran her hands up over her toned stomach to her breasts, where she cupped them, massaging her nipples with her thumbs.

She leaned in to take the left nipple in her mouth, her tongue lapped at the small nub until it was hard. She listened closely to Jo’s breathing. Working on the other nipple, she noticed her inhale getting sharper.

She may have never done this before, but she could always tell when someone wasn’t getting enough breath. Wasn’t so much a problem here though, having her breathless was the goal. 

Tracing her tongue down her abdomen. Jo’s legs parted a little wider for her, inviting her in. 

Yaz moved her face in line with her vulva, feeling the heat coming off her.

A small spark of curiosity came over her. She wanted to know how far she could push this. She was inches away from her now, her tongue finally touched her, on her outer labia. 

Yaz drew a circle all the way down to her entrance, up her one labia and over her clit, deliberately missing it, and back down the other labia. She made the wide loop once again, and again, going slowly, allowing for her tongue to dip shallowly into her every time it passed by.

“Fuck Yaz, I said tease, not torture.” Jo’s voice was dry and practically pained. Yaz could feel how bad she wanted it, her cunt was now glistening with her arousal, she looked up to see her breath getting shorter with each inhale.

Yaz felt a bit cocky off the back of that comment and decided to push the boat a bit further.

“Tell me how bad you want it, first.” She kept her voice low.

Jo propped herself up on her elbows. Yaz looked up at her, holding her nerve.

“It’s all I’ve thought about this week,” Jo said, tangling her fingers in Yaz’s hair. 

Yaz sussed that she wasn’t really the type to fully beg for it, but knowing she’d be thinking about this just as much as her was enough.

She backed down from the game of wills, and lightly pressed her tongue down. She licked against her clit, encompassing it with her mouth. Jo moaned quietly, it was already like a symphony on Yaz’s ears, and she was determined to hear more. 

Flicking her tongue back and forth over her clit, Yaz was gifted with the noises of which she so desperately craved. Jo’s hand was firm against her scalp, pressing her in further. 

She glanced up to see the effects of her efforts, and it was certainly working. She kept lapping at her a steady pace, watching over her body that went from squirming to practically writhing in only a few short minutes.

“How am I doing?” Yaz said, coming away for a moment, Jo’s fingertips were now pressing harder against her head.

“Please don’t stop,” Jo’s voice was barely there. Yaz had gotten her to the tipping point, gotten her to her to beg.

Yaz went back to the motion, and the moans that came out her was like melted chocolate that was being dripped onto Yaz’s tongue. 

Her body was a sight to behold. Yaz wanted to log the image in her brain forever, returning to the file whenever she had a spare second in her day-to-day life, just as a reminder that this wasn’t a dream. 

Yaz’s hands were locked down on her hips, pinning her in place. Her hips still bucked against her hands, but Yaz was stronger.

“That feels so good,  _ fuck _ — Yaz.”

Yaz drank in her words, spurred on by how much pleasure she was giving her. The dim light from the bedside lamp was the only light-source, illuminating just enough to show the thin mist of sweat that had formed on Jo’s ivory skin. 

Despite feeling enraptured just by the sight of her, Yaz was valiant in her attempts to keep her focus, to keep her consistency. And she was successful. She was in awe of the way she looked, the way she moved, the way she moaned for her. 

With every motion her tongue went through, she felt Jo tense up a little further. She decided to pick up the pace just a little, her own desire to see her come now overshadowing her need for anything else.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t…”

Jo’s whispered commands faded into nothing as she tensed up underneath her hands, her hand clasping at the roots of her hair. Yaz watched her head tilt back as she came for her. Yaz heard her name on her lips between the moans, it sounded better in her mouth than she’d ever heard it before. 

Yaz looked up at the centre of her universe. This gorgeous, beaming source of energy. She was so warm, so bright. Yaz didn’t stand a chance against her gravity, she was willingly pulled into her orbit. 

Once the dust had settled and Jo was no longer shaking, she moved her mouth onto her thigh, kissing her delicate skin.

“You’re a bit of a natural at that,” Jo said, her hand releasing from Yaz’s head. Her voice husky and full of post-orgasmic bliss.

“Good to know,” Yaz replied, still peppering her inner thigh with soft kisses. 

“Come here,” Jo said.

Yaz came up from her knees and leaned over her. Together they shuffled up the bed a bit, Yaz propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at her. 

“That were brilliant, nothing to be nervous about,” Jo said, her hand on Yaz’s face. 

“Thanks, but I wasn’t done,” Yaz dared herself to slip her hand back down to her vulva, two fingers settling at her entrance.

“Wait,” Jo said, grabbing Yaz’s hand. Yaz was slightly alarmed but she then realised what she was inspecting something, her nails.

Yaz laughed.

“Took the hint when you called me out a while back,” Yaz said.

“I was hoping you would,” Jo replied, letting go of her hand. “Didn’t want you coming near me with those talons.”

“Were you thinking about my fingers back then?” Yaz asked, shuffling in to be closer to her, her leg draped over her thigh.

“Well yeah, you’re a bit of a catch Yaz, even if you are clueless.”

Yaz lightly traced her fingertips over her left nipple, down her abdomen and over the small patch of blonde hair. 

“You're so beautiful,” Yaz said, it was not a conscious decision to say something like that, she was wrapped up in the sight of her and the words found their way out of her lips. She released after that it might be a bit intense to say that on the first shag, but it wasn’t false.

“Thanks, you’re not too bad yourself.” 

Yaz ran her fingers through her silky wet heat, pushing two inside with ease. Jo tensed up underneath her, holding onto her shoulder. Yaz dipped her face down to plant kisses on her neck, breathing the scent of her skin. 

She pushed in again, over and over, picking up the pace as Jo let out low, sultry moans with every movement.

“Can you come like this?” Yaz whispered in her ear and received a nod in reply. “Are you going to come again for me?” She asked and Jo nodded again.

Yaz herself was a mess as well, her hips were beyond her control as she grinded up against her thigh.

“Keep going, keep going, like that  — yes,  _ Fuck _ !”

Yaz felt her clench around her fingers as she came. Yaz held her through it, breathing in the scent of her hair, still pumping her fingers until she was certain she’d drained every last morsel of pleasure out of her.

Yaz was just about to roll off her when Jo’s hand came free from its grip on the bed sheet and landed on Yaz’s hip, rocking her backwards and forwards on her thigh. Yaz hummed and bit her lip. 

“Can you do the same for me?” Jo purred in her ear. 

Yaz took the hint and ground herself onto her, finding the perfect amount of friction against her cunt, she moaned into the movement. Whatever reservation she had was long since out of the door, she was so absurdly into her that even just humping against was more than enough to get her to her third orgasm of the evening.

She felt a hand on her shoulder pushing at her.

“I want to look at you properly,” Jo said, and Yaz sat up, flipping her hair out of her face. Yaz looked into her eyes and took a few seconds to study her face. Now her eyes were less fierce, more of a hazel hue compared to the darkened brown back in the shop. Her lips were swollen and her cheeks were flushed. Yaz took another mental image of her to keep in the corners of her mind. She began riding her thigh, tilting her head back.

Hands found their way up the curve of her waist to her breasts, Yaz held onto her forearms, giving herself a bit stability as she rode her, the pressure already building up inside.

“You look so hot,” Jo commented. Yaz bit her lip, finding the much needed angle to build up the warmth that trickled through her senses. “Are you close?”

“Fuck, I’m so close,” Yaz sighed, closing her eyes, there was no stopping the momentum pushing her towards the edge.

“Come for me, babe.” 

The command on its own was enough, let alone Jo calling her a sweet pet name. Yaz let go and the pressure released itself in a flood of ecstasy. It was hard to catch any thoughts, to find where one started and the next ended, she opened her eyes and looked down at the one thing that was at the centre of it all. 

Yaz collapsed down on top of her in a heap of spent exhaustion. Jo laughed and wrapped her arms around her.

“How are you doing?” Jo asked.

“I’m knackered,” Yaz said, rolling onto her back, still working on getting her breath back. “And probably in need of a shower.”

“Feel free,” Jo said moving onto her side cuddling against her.

“You don’t make it easy to move.”

“I didn’t say I would.”

Yaz turned to face her, happily allowing for the world to carry on turning without them. Jo’s smile was all she needed.

Jo leaned forward and Yaz invited in the feeling of her lips on hers. 

"You hungry?” Jo asked, twirling a piece of Yaz’s hair around her fingers. Yaz hadn’t thought about any of her other needs for a while.

“Yeah actually, definitely worked up an appetite.” 

“Get in the shower, I’ll see what I can do.”

Yaz reluctantly peeled herself away from Jo and popped to the en-suite. She turned on the water and washed herself. She couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. She felt sixteen again, all those fireworks and cartwheels were causing mayhem just like when Emma Westlake smiled at her from across the dancefloor at prom.

Emotional discipline was something Yaz was usually quite good at. But relationships were always something she made excuses not to do, even dipping her toes in was anxiety-inducing. But Jo was a force she couldn’t fight. And now she had accidentally fallen in the deep end, and she was in shock at how much she could feel for another person. 

She heard Jo come in the bathroom and she turned around to face her. Jo slid the shower door open and wrapped her hands around her waist.

“Did you sort out food?”

Jo nodded. “Well, I don’t know how to cook and there is nothing in the fridge so I ordered some pizza. Didn’t know what toppings you like so I just got veggie supreme, I’m assuming because you do yoga and you’re all healthy and stuff that you like vegetables.”

“Correct. I’m also very partial to pineapple too.”

Jo actually gasped, Yaz was expecting outrage but her face softened into a smile.

“Well if I’d of known that I’d definitely got some, I love pineapple me, but ya know, it’s a risky topping.”

“You played it safe, I don’t blame ya. Just hoping you got some kind of dip.”

“Garlic and herb?”

“You’re a star,” Yaz pulled her under the stream of water and kissed her. The kisses quickly deepened and Jo pressed her up against the cold tile, her hands travelling down her waist.

“Do we even have time?” Yaz asked in between kisses.

“Mmm it’d be a push. If we did I might have to run down to meet this delivery guy totally starkers.” 

“We can’t have that, you’re for my eyes only.” 

Yaz pulled her in again, the warm water cascaded down their bodies, steaming up the glass door of the shower. The giddiness that infected Yaz’s system wasn’t the only teenage emotion Jo was stirring up, she didn’t remember the last time she was this horny, the way Jo touched her sent her senses alight. She could easily go again, and again, for the rest of the night.

Unfortunately, Jo came away from her lips.

“I have really gotta put some clothes on,” Jo said, Yaz nodded and she left her to the bask in the warmth of the water that trickled over her skin.

When she stepped out of the shower, she clocked a light blue jumper with stars scattered on it and some shorts folded neatly in a pile at the edge of the bed.

She walked into the living room where Jo was setting up pizza in the living room.

“Those PJs are cute,” Yaz said.

“Just figured you’d maybe wanna sleep in something more comfortable,” Jo explained, pouring out some diet coke into mugs.

“Oh, they’re for me?” Yaz asked.

Yaz realised she was being invited to stay the night. The thought hadn’t really occurred to her to leave, if she was being honest with herself, she never wanted to leave of her own accord again. 

“Ah shit, have I read this wrong? I can go get your clothes —”

“No! No, I want to stay the night, I’ll go get changed,” Yaz quickly corrected her and Jo’s expression relaxed into a smile.

Yaz reemerged into the living room. She meant to just wash her body off, but her hair was a little wet from where she’d been distracted, but she managed to clock herself in the mirror just to check her mascara hadn’t run. 

“You are so adorable,” Jo commented.

The pair sat down and Yaz picked up a slice of pizza.

“Can’t remember the last time I had take-out,” Yaz said, just before biting into the slice.

"I’d be ashamed to tell you how much I order from that place,” Jo said.

“Go on, hit me with it.”

“Well, I don’t have the exact figures but the driver knew my name, that can’t be a good sign. And I’ve only lived here about six months.”

“Do you like it? Sheffield I mean,”

“It’s ace yeah, having the shop and family around, it’s definitely got me back on track.”

Yaz is reminded of the insider information she had gotten from Rose, she said she’d “Been through a lot,” but didn’t specify beyond the string of girlfriends that followed.

“What caused you to be off track?” Yaz asked.

Jo paused for a moment whilst she thought of an answer.

“Just life stuff, got a bit much. Still, John and Rose got to me in good time, and I feel a lot better now,” Jo said.

Yaz wasn’t surprised by her vague answer. They were still in those early stages, still strengthening their bond. It did seem to her that whilst she was a magnet when it came to attracting others, it didn’t mean she was open. 

Her curiosity was still present, but she decided to let it be.

They ate pizza over casual conversation, and when they were both done, hands started to roam over each other once again.

Jo led her back to the bedroom and Yaz sank into her arms.

///

It took Yaz about three seconds to fully come round to the conscious world, she was initially startled by the unfamiliar location. But then, she remembered. 

She turned off her alarm and looked over to see Jo still sleeping beside her. Her heart sang with pure joy. Yaz wondered to herself what it would be like to wake up to this sight every day. She then put the breaks on her wandering mind,  _ I’m getting way too ahead of myself,  _ she thought as she gazed at her.

Unfortunately, she had work, and she was going to need a quick visit home before that happened as well. It seemed practically cruel that she was being pulled away from her. She reached up and tucked a rogue piece of blonde hair beyond her ear and felt her stir.

Jo opened her eyes and Yaz smiled at her.

“Hi,” Jo said, her voice getting its first use that morning.

“Hi.” Yaz replied and they both indulged in the time to simply look at one another. “I have to go to work,” Yaz said.

“Boo, that’s the worst news you could have told me,” Jo said, quickly moving her leg over Yaz’s waist, her hands snaking up her top.

“I know it sucks, but I need to leave in like ten minutes.” Jo’s hands cupped her breasts, Yaz could feel her nipples hardening under her touch.

“How long does it take you to get dressed?” Jo’s voice was in her ear, tickling against her skin, she could already feel herself getting aroused.

“About two minutes.”

“I can do a lot in eight minutes.” 

Yaz could almost hear her smirking. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around her, happy to take her word for it.

///

  
  


After a slightly rushed morning routine and some dodging around Sonya’s probing questions, Yaz made it to work on time. 

The rest of the day passed and Yaz’s mind was drowning in the thought of her. Questions laden themselves around the mental images that swirled around. Did that actually happen? Everything about her felt like heaven, and Yaz didn’t remember dying so it must have been real. But how could skin be soft? And how could her laughter be so soothing on her heart? 

All other thoughts died on entry, distracted and dazed, Yaz knew she was in deep. 

The next day came and Yaz recounted the kisses at the doorway and how they promised they’d see each other again soon. But she hadn’t heard from her. At work Yaz fidgeted with her phone, pondering on what to do. Luckily, before she leapt too far into irrational conclusions, Bill waltzed into the shop. 

“Hiya,” Bill said cheerily.

“Managed to make it out of bed today I see?

“I know, I am as shocked as you are.”

“And now you’re here to bug me?”

“Thought I’d see my best mate before my lecture okay? And to see if you got any of those chocolate ice cream cones in.”

Yaz pointed at the jar which Bill went and retrieved and put on the counter. 

“How's things? Made your move on blondie yet?” Bill asked, putting the jar down on the counter.

“Oh ya know,” Yaz couldn’t keep the smirk from forming on her lips as she shovelled sweets onto the weighing scale. 

“Oh my god, tell me everything.” 

“I went round hers the night before last.”

“And?”

“And you can fill in the blanks.”

“Pffft. Spoil sport. But I am glad you are finally having some fun.”

“Yeah it was...amazing. I hope I get to see her again soon.”

“Ah, well let’s hope she’s not a Shane.”

“A what?”

“You know Shane, from the L Word?”

“The what?”

“What kind of lesbian are you? Shane is the type of lesbian you shags about, soon enough half of the lesbians in Sheffield have shagged her.”

Yaz took a second to ponder this, Rose’s words now at the forefront of her mind.

“Rose did say she shagged half of London before she moved here.”

Bill made a face. 

“Yikes.” Bill said, and Yaz put her head in her hands. “Did she say anything vague as you were leaving?” Bill probed.

“We both just said we’d see each other soon.” The look on Bill’s face wasn’t leaving and it was stirring up some frustration in Yaz. She sighed. “We had such a great night together. But, we didn’t make any firm plans to meet up again...oh god, what if I am just another notch in the bedpost?”

“That is such a Dana thing to say.”

“Oh my god can you please speak in English and not in lesbian references that I don’t understand?”

“Alright! Keep your hair on, just text her. If she is vague and non-committal, then I’m sorry babe, but there is your answer.”

“Don’t you think that’s coming on a bit strong? I only saw her yesterday morning,” Yaz said, her eyes glancing at her phone on the counter.

“I mean, if you wanna know what her intentions are, there is only one way to know. And I know you too well, you won’t be able to just carry on with your day until you know.”

They swapped over the money and the bag of sweets.

“You’re right, I’ll check in.”

“You got this, babe. Right, I’ve got a lecture I need to be getting to.” 

“See ya later,” Yaz said and Bill left the shop.

Yaz didn’t waste any time. She picked up her phone and opened up their messages. She wanted to send something, anything but her brain was going blank.

In the end, she just decided to tell the truth of what she was feeling.

**_[11.48] Yaz_ ** _ Bored, missing you x _

She put her phone down and attempted to busy herself around the shop, but luckily she was put out of her misery pretty quickly.

**_[11.51] Jo_ ** _ I’m so glad you text me, I did want to text yesterday but I didn’t want to come on too strong...I’m missing a lot of things about you too x _

Yaz smiled, relieved.

**_[11.51] Yaz_ ** _ Like what? _

**_[11.52] Jo_ ** _ Those doe eyes looking up at me as you eat me out x _

Yaz bit her lip, still smiling down at her phone. Just looking at the text made her toes curl up in her shoes.

**_[11.52] Yaz_ ** _ I miss the taste of you and how hard you came for me - was better than I could of imagined x _

**_[11.53] Jo_ ** _ You know back at the studio, you said that you'd wanted this since the moment we met? x _

Yaz tried to not internally cringe at the memory.

**_[11.54] Yaz_ ** _ Yes x _

**_[11.54] Jo_ ** _ Did you ever touch yourself and think about me? x _

**_[11.54] Yaz_ ** _ All the time x _

She realised after hitting send that might come off as a bit desperate, but it was true.

**_[11.55] Jo_ ** _ Can you do it now? For me. x _

Yaz read over the text a couple of times. The thought of getting herself off at work had never even crossed her mind, but to do it now, for her, it set off that familiar tightness in her crotch.

**_[11.56] Yaz_ ** _ I can go on lunch in five mins, you gonna help me get off? x _

**_[11.56] Jo_ ** _ Of course, let me know when you’re ready, I’m presuming there is a back room? x _

**_[11.57] Yaz_ ** _ No I was just going to touch myself in front of the shop window ;) x _

**_[11.58] Jo_ ** _ You are for my eyes only. x _

Yaz walked up to the door and turned the sign to closed. She walked into the back, it was nothing but a cupboard-sized room with a few boxes of extra sweets stacked up and a desk for Grace’s laptop. Yaz propped herself on the edge of the desk. 

**_[12.00] Yaz_ ** _ Ready x _

Yaz wasn’t expecting her phone to light up. She was calling her. It felt like the stakes were raised before she’d really grappled with what she was about to do.

_ In for a penny, in for a pound.  _ She thought to herself.

“Hey,” Yaz said.

“ _Hello,_ ” Jo replied, a coyness already laced in her voice. “ _Have you been thinking about me?_ ” 

“Yeah.”

“ _Good. I had a great time the other night, and in the morning._ ”

“Me too.”

“ _Tell me some of your highlights._ ”

“When…” Yaz closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “When you did that thing with your tongue.” 

_“When my tongue was inside you?_ ”

“Yeah.”

“ _I love the way you taste, Yaz, god_ _ — _ _I don’t think you realise how you sound when you’re all hot for me._ ”

“You like the way I moan?”

“ _Yes, so much. I need to hear it again. Can you put your hand down there for me, over your underwear, for now._ ”

Yaz unbuttoned her jeans and slid her hand down, her fingertips finding the soft cotton fabric of her underwear. 

“What should I do now?” Yaz asked, her fingers were impatiently ghosting over the area that she desperately wanted to touch.

“ _Touch your clit for me, gently._ ”

Yaz did as she was told, she pressed against herself lightly, making small circles. Her next breath out was a sigh of relief.

“I wish this was you,” Yaz said, she moved her fingers further down. “I’m already wet for you, I can feel it seeping through.”

Jo took what Yaz presumed was a moment to collect herself.

“ _And here is me thinking you were such a good girl._ ”

“I can be...I want to be.” It was going to take all of Yaz’s courage to say the thing she really wanted to say, but it seemed like it was now or never. “I want to be a good girl for you.” 

“ _Christ, Yaz._ ” There was a pause and Yaz smiled, knowing she needed another second to process that. “ _Be a good girl for me and slip your hand under your underwear._ ”

She did exactly that, her fingertips found her clit and she rubbed small deliberate circles. She made a noise that was on the precipice of a moan, but not quite. She dipped her hand lower and was greeted with a wetness that coated her fingers.

“What do you want me to do?” She asked.

“ _Push one finger inside. Slowly._ ”

She shuffled back a bit on the desk for a bit more space, her shoulders against the wall.

Pushing one finger inside, she teased herself with her pace. She wanted to take more, and Jo would have no way of telling if she did, but she wanted to obey to her rules. To submit to her. It wasn’t something she didn't even know about herself until now, but Jo was awakening lots of things in her.

“I wish this was you,” Yaz said, slipping her finger in and out.

_“I wish it were me, Yaz. If it were up to me I’d come over right now and make you see stars. But John’s coming round in a bit and I need to be in,_ ” Jo said. 

“Guess I’ll just have to make do with your voice,” Yaz said, knowing it was more than enough.

_“Can you slip another finger inside for me?_ ”

Yaz added another finger and revelled in the slight stretch, a low hum coming out with her next exhale.

“ _Close your eyes and imagine it's me,_ ” Jo’s voice caressed her ear.

It was a slightly difficult angle due to the tightness of her jeans, but Yaz managed to fall into a comfortable rhythm, hitting the spot she needed. She breathed into it, quiet moans tied up in her breath.

“You feel so good, fuck.”

“ _Go a bit deeper for me, as deep as you can_.”

Her fingers were now buried to the hilt. Yaz withdrew and pushed them back in, filling herself.

“Are you getting off on this?” Yaz asked, curious to know if she was doing anything too.

“ _I’m so wet for you it’s honestly a bit uncomfortable, but I am just focusing on you. And I need you to fuck yourself senseless for me, babe. I want to hear all those sounds again._ ”

Yaz caught the word babe once again and it fluttered on her lips, curling them into a smile. She fulfilled her command, fucking herself harder and faster, her moans getting louder. 

“ _How do you want to come for me? Like this, or touching your clit?_ ” 

“I….” Yaz needed a second to think, she stopped the motion. “I want to come with you,” She said.

_“I’m supposed to be working,_ ” Jo said, her voice sounding dryer with every sentence.

“Take a little break? Please, I’ll be so good for you. I just...I want to hear you too.” 

Yaz heard some rapid movement, it was clear that a quickfire decision had been made. She heard the sound of shoes against the steps up to her apartment and the door slamming behind her.

“ _Let me just…_ ” Jo trailed off and Yaz heard some fumbling and a zip behind undone. Jo cursed and Yaz knew she was down there.

“Are you as wet as you thought?” Yaz teased.

_“Fuck, Yaz. I am so wet for you, you are driving me crazy._ ”

“Touch your clit for me,” Yaz said, moving her own fingers out of her and onto her clit.

“ _I’m supposed to be telling you how to be a good girl for me,_ ” Jo breathed out a laugh.

“Please, babe. I’m touching mine too, it feels so good. If only it were your tongue,” Yaz didn’t know where on earth this confidence was coming from, turns out all she needed to do was speak the truth and the words just fell out of her mouth. Knowing she was there with her in their frantic craving for one another made her feel invincible. 

“ _It will be soon, I promise. Shit, I’m already close, how are you doing this to me?_ ”

Yaz made hard and fast circles on her clit, her muscles starting to tense, listening to the raspy moans in her ear. She pictured her, back against the door, hand shoved in her jeans, about to come over her. 

“I’m so close too, I want to come for you,” Yaz said picking up the pace of her own touches, her voice now thick with need.

“ _Be a good girl and beg for me Yaz, beg me to come._ ”

Yaz knew the edge wasn’t far and she’d give anything in the goddamned universe to get there.

“Please, please, fuck — please let me come, I want to come for you — ”

“ _I’m so close, come with me, Yaz._ ”

With a few more hard circles Yaz fully tensed as she came, listening to the the strained curses coming out of her phone. Yaz called out for her, no one else could hear her anyway, and what even where other people? All she cared about was the woman doing the exact same on the end of the line. A mere fifteen minute walk in reality, but right now she felt like she was beside her.

They both took a long while to recover and for their breathing to return to normal, when it did, Jo was the first to speak.

“ _Are you free tonight?_ ” 

///

  
  


Yaz walked into the empty yoga room and started to set up for class. She wondered to herself if she’d ever had this many orgasms in such a short space of time. For the past two nights she’d been round Jo’s flat and all the sex was blurring into one Jackson Pollock painting, splash after splash of colour hitting her, all layering into something extraordinary. 

Bill would often tell her stories of the girls she was shagging night after night and Yaz tried to pass it off as excessive, who could ever want to have sex that much? But she knew now she just hadn’t found the one she wanted more and more of. And Jo was like a new world, a sensual, addictive world.

The class started to pour in and Yaz saw Jo from across the room, her eyes met with hers for a short yet poignant moment.

“Hiya Yaz.”

Yaz’s attention was diverted to Clara who had somehow come to be standing in front of her.

“Hey, Clara. How’s the back doing?”

“Yeah not too bad thanks. Listen, er Jo text me last night about what's going on, and I just want you to know, no hard feelings okay?”

“Oh, yeah, fine. Sorry.” 

Yaz didn’t know why she apologised, most likely due to awkwardness, probably the last thing Clara wanted was her pity.

“No need to apologise, plenty of fish eh?” Clara said before walking over to her mat.

Yaz gave a small nod and got back to setting up the music.

Jo was still the same distracting force throughout class as she always was, but it was not as bad as the weeks before. Now when she glanced at her body in certain positions, it no longer felt as pervy. 

Half way through class she had gotten everyone into warrior two when she noticed that Jo’s arms weren’t exactly straight out, she could tell the moment she started walking towards her that she was doing it on purpose.

Yaz held out her palm underneath hers, when their hands touched, she raised her arm to the correct position. She knew looking her in the eye would cause her to break the shred of focus she was trying to maintain, but the temptation was too immense. Jo’s eyes were playful, continuing to maintain Yaz’s ongoing bewilderment, as the soft light in the dusk of the afternoon gave them a jade-green colour. 

A smirk formed on Jo’s lips, her fingers on top of hers, toying with the idea of lacing themselves in Yaz’s. Yaz rolled her eyes a little as a little way of saying; _ Come on, I’m working _ but her smile never left her either. 

Yaz didn’t get the chance to come over again until guided meditation. She sat down on her legs at the top of Jo’s head. Her fingers were just about to touch her forehead when Jo sat up and turned to face her.

“What are you doing?” Yaz mouthed silently. Jo touched her own finger to her lips, then reached out for Yaz’s. 

Yaz followed her line of thinking and did the quickest scan to make sure everyone had their eyes closed. 

Jo’s lips ghosted over hers for a moment before kissing her lightly, smiles still stuck on their lips. Jo laid back down and they carried on as if nothing had happened.

This woman was for sure going to get her into trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please, if you can, listen to the song quoted for this chapter - its sapphic as fuck and its aMAAAAZING 
> 
> anyway, always appreciate the love for this story, might take a short break to do some one shots - will come back to this! xx

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated, in it's entirety, to my good friend and collaborator @wretcheddyke <3
> 
> Comments and kudos are my lifeblood, pls donate XD
> 
> Thanks!


End file.
